Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Pictures and Videos

I have wanted to post a few pictures and videos, but our internet connection hasn't been cooperating... I know they will be put together all in one post, but hopefully I can keep them all in order.

so finally, here they are:

First of all, these are a few pictures from Gray's "Celebration of Life".

There were a few friends asking to see what we did at the end of his service... so here are a couple of videos.

I also thought I would show something that was done for us by our Church Family at Johnson Grove. We had the idea to make an area at the cemetary where people could sit and arrange their flowers, or just sit and think and pray. My Grandma had some benches she gave us, and my family took them out to the cemetary. The enterence gate is directley behind Kinsey's (and now Grayson too) stone... the benches were placed in the corner to the right when you walk in the gate. We wanted to put a cement slab down, and a marker to honor the memory of our children.

My parents had mentioned this to some people at church... to see how they liked the idea. We were planning on waiting until later in the year to have the slab poured under the benches.

To show how great our Church Family is...

My Grandma and Aunt had gone to the cemetary while my parents were in Arkansas with us. They called us and said that someone had poured the cement under the benches...and it looked great! They even put washed rock in the cement and white rocks all around the edges... it is truly a beautiful area now.

God has blessed us with so many good people in our lives. We can never repay all the love and support that has been shown to us all.

The area was beautiful at Grayson's "Celebration", and we owe it all to our family at Johnson Grove. Thank you all so very much.

Taylor and I took Ladybug's to the church for Gray and Kinsey before we left Mississippi. We couldn't even think of leaving without delivering Ladybugs. I believe GrayMan likes them too.

When we went to Dallas, we let a Monkey Balloon go for Gray and Kinsey. We were at Kenny's place and he got to be there with us to let them go. It was a pretty windy day in Dallas that day, and they really just took off. There is something so relaxing and beautiful watching those balloons climb out of sight....

Taylor made a video of us releasing the balloons... only problem is that he did the video sideways. There may be a way to rotate it, but if there is...I can't figure it out. I opted to put the video on here anyway. Sorry its sideways!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace

Today has been an emotional day for me. It wasn't the way I had envisioned...we were supposed to have been watching Kinsey destroy her Birthday cake today. We had hoped to be throwing a Ladybug Birthday Party, but Taylor and I know more then anyone...things don't always happen the way you had hoped.
Just thinking how much things have changed in one year...its almost too much to take in. We have lost two children in one year's time. Unbelievable sometimes... doesn't even seem real, but we know it is.

I really didn't know how today would pan out. I do know that I would have loved to be in my hometown Brookhaven today. We couldn't though because we previously thought Taylor had to work today. To go to the church and the cemetary would have been ideal for me.

Luckily, his manager WAS able to give him the day off. I'm sure she had no idea how much she helped me today... Taylor and I were able to spend today together, and that meant so much to me. Otherwise I would have been alone all day today...thanks Ashley.

My Mom and Grandma went to the church this morning and took Kinsey's balloons and some flowers to the cemetery. Of course GrayMan got some balloons too. Thank you Mom and Grandma...and thanks Wanda for letting them use your camera. Hopefully I will have pictures soon of what they did for us all.
One thought that made me smile today was that they are together today. No matter how much I miss them and want them back here with us, I am comforted by the fact that they are together...and most of all with God.

Taylor and I stayed busy most of the day. We got so many great plants at Gray's service...and we still have many from Kinsey's service too. So...we went shopping for pots. We found some really good ones. We came home and potted the new plants, and repotted some others. I think they all turned out great. Taylor had some ideas about doing some different things to some of the plants, and I think they turned out great. Every time I see any of them, I think of my babies.

I wanted to post a few pictures of the plants, but my internet is terrible...Hughes Net. Horrible.
Maybe I can get them posted on here tomorrow.

We did have a little private Birthday for Kinsey here at home. Taylor and I got some pink Happy Birthday balloons. We attached them to one of Gray's monkey balloons...and added the note with the monkey on it. It also had a card I made for Kinsey's Birthday. Then we went in the backyard by Kinsey's tree...and let them go. It had rained all day, but stopped and began to be a pretty day. The balloons started off a little slow, but then really took off. They climbed so high that I lost sight of them.

Today was spent with Kinsey on my mind constantly, I miss her so much. While we were out I saw many reminders. Ladybugs (and butterflies) were everywhere... from the Flower pot that we found for the nursery, to the Ladybug stake that we came across for one of the plants. While in one store today I saw a baby being pushed in a grocery cart. A little red headed baby girl, I couldn't help but tear up. Reminders are everywhere everyday...especially today.

I know that Kinsey and Grayson are together today...and for that I am grateful. One day we will spend their Birthdays a family.

Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace. We love you and miss you every second of every day....and we always will.


Monday, July 27, 2009

Dallas, Friends, Food, Gray Man & Kinsey

Taylor and I went to Dallas on Wednesday. We left that morning and made it in only 4 1/2 hours...Taylor was proud of that.

We went to just see friends and try to relax. We lived in Dallas for around 3 years, and still miss alot of things there. Especially the people and the FOOD.

We wanted to just get away, not that we even attempted to "get away" from our thoughts and memories...I never want to get away from those. But it was nice to see good friends and go to our favorite Dallas restaurants. Mainly Cuba Libre and La Hacienda Ranch.

We were able to see a few different friends. There are some that I want to thank...
Kenny, you are always great... we always feel very welcome at your Bed & Breakfast, Macey loved it there too. She said she misses running up and down the stairs. Hope you liked the cheesecake.
Julie, Brian, Lacy, Keith, Lauren etc... it was great to see all of you, and we had a good time playing shuffleboard.
Laurie, thank you for breakfast...and I had a great time just getting to hang out with you for breakfast Saturday morning. I miss seeing you.
Ryan and Emily... we had such a good time Saturday night. The surprise massages were amazing, and definitely a surprise. Playing Rook was really fun, even though the guys won the last round.
Dallas will always hold a special place in our hearts... even though we still hate the traffic.

We did some shopping, and I won't go into detail...but we bought a few gifts while we were there.
We also were able to let some balloons go for Grayson and Kinsey. We had a monkey balloon attached to some other colored balloons. We let them go at Kenny's place. They had the monkey on them from the Barrel of Monkeys...and the same card that was on the balloons we let go at Gray's service. It was a windy day...and they took off! They actually went so far up that we totally lost sight of them. Will we ever hear from any of them? Who knows, but we love letting those balloons go. I will attach some pictures and hopefully a video later.

We came back home yesterday, and its good to be back home. Like I said before, there are things here that I see and still cause me to become upset...but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I will always have those wonderful memories. I would give anything to have Gray and Kinsey back, but I know its not possible. I just have to take it one day at a time...and just keep breathing. With God's help, I hope to survive.
I definitely don't fear death anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to leave... but when the time comes, I will get to hold my children again. To meet God, and to see GrayMan and Kinsey.... there will be NOTHING greater than that.

Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow is Kinsey's 1st Birthday. July 28, 2009. Not the way I wanted it to be, but Taylor and I will do something special for her together. She also has Gray with her now, and I know that they will be together tomorrow and for all eternity. For that I am thankful...and blessed. Thanks be to God.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Back at Home... without our Little Man (July 20th, 2009)

Taylor and I made it back to Arkansas yesterday. It wasn't a bad drive, but it does get long. Our Jack Russell Macey made the trip with us. We stopped a few times to walk around and got home around 3pm.

Walking in the house was pretty emotional for me. Lots of Gray Man memories. I love the memories though... I am so thankful that I have them. But it does not take away the hurt. I miss him so much... his smell, his sounds, the feel of him laying on my chest....and of course I miss kissing him on top of the head. That was one of my favorite things to do.

It all hits you in the face when you come in the house and see his things. I didn't want anything put up before we left here though. I wanted all of his things exactly where I left them. I wanted to be the one to pick up after him, his Mom. I think the thing that affected me the most was seeing his bed, his little Snuggle Nest. Gray slept between Taylor and I, in our bed. It was a special little bed made so that we could do that. He loved it.. it had a heartbeat sound, and well as a little nightlight. Seeing that still in the middle of the bed was very emotional for me. Honestly, I wanted to just leave it there. However, I knew that I couldn't leave it there forever. No matter how much I wanted to do that.

Of course when Grayson was here, I really never slept. The only time I slept was when I accidentally dozed off for a few minutes at a time. I think it was just a Higher Power helping me to stay awake...because Gray needed me there. I just wanted to do everything I could for him while he was here. I wanted to know that I didn't miss any time with him.

I just want him back so badly. I got the chance to do with him what I missed with Kinsey. In a way, it brought back all the hurt from losing her...I really got to experience what I missed with her. I got to know Grayson, to see his little personality. I remember his smell, his sounds....all things that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.

Taylor and I both got to know our Little GrayMan... and it was such a blessing to us.

Taylor did such a great job here on the blog while I was not able to post. I spent every second with Gray, so he took over things. It helped him more than I think he ever thought it would. He really was touched by every one's expressions of support for us.

I saw so many compliments for him in his posts... I don't know if I can be as good as he was! He did a great job keeping everyone updated, and touched so many people by his post for Gray.

We are both still overwhelmed by all of the support and love and prayers we have received from all over the world.

When I started this blog, it was basically to keep family and friends updated. We never could have dreamed how many people and lives our children have touched. They have done more in their short lives than Taylor and I have been able to do our whole time here on this earth. It gives me some sense of comfort...knowing that they have touched so many.

I can't thank you all enough...from the bottom of my heart. All of the comments we have received have helped to keep us going. They have helped our hearts. We have such a long journey to take, such a long time to start healing. We will NEVER get over this...its not something you ever "get over", and we don't want to. We just have to learn how to keep living.

I'm not sure I know how to do that yet, but I pray that God will show me the way.

All I know to do right now is take things an hour, a day at a time. I just want them both back so badly... it physically hurts.

I know that they don't want to come back...even though we want them to be here with us. I can only pray that God's Grace will help us to be with them again one day. It is the main thing I strive someday after this life, be reunited with our children.

In the words of "Mercy Me"...I've never been more Homesick, than now.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Headed home.

Kristi and I are headed home tomorrow. The plan is to wake up early tomorrow so we can pick up Brooks; the weimerainer, before the vet closes. We are going to go visit the cemetary before we leave in the morning. There's still a lot of fresh flowers out there as well as some of Gray Man's stuffed monkeys. Kristi's ordered more lady bugs... we let them go this evening for Kinsey and Grayson.

I hinted in an earlier post about a suprise I had been planning for Gray's celebration. We decided to let the grandparents and uncles pick their favorite monkey; we picked our favorite as well, but we didn't tell them why they were picking one of little man's monkeys. I made cards that Wanda got laminated that had our blog address as well as a note that had his P.O. box address. Attached was a little plastic monkey from the barrel of monkeys game. The note and monkey were tied together and attached to balloons that were in turn tied to each of the 5 monkeys; each representing a day in Gray's life.

After the service, Brother Davis asked for the family members to retrieve the monkey they picked. We walked across the road to the grave site and Brother Otis talked about how monkeys became such a large part of Gray's birthdays. He then read the note attached to the monkeys. The notes ask that anyone who finds it to please return it and the plastic monkey to the P.O. box as well as posting on the blog. After the balloons were detached from each of Gray's monkeys everyone said, "Godspeed, Little Man" and the balloons were released. It was great to watch them take off and fly away.

We hope that someone finds the card and monkey. Getting one of those in Grayson's P.O. Box would be amazing. Everytime we go on vacation or go somewhere we plan on releasing more balloons with the monkey and note attached. Kinsey gets lady bugs and butterflies so we knew we wanted to do something for him as well. It will make checking his mailbox even more exciting!

Brookhaven Monument is finalizing the plan for his head stone. We spent a few hours with Kevin, Linda, and Penny a couple days ago working on the design. It will look very similar to Kinsey's stone, but will have more of a little man feel to it. Penny came up with a great idea to replace the flowers; it's going to look great. While we were working on the design I was introduced to a Brookhaven icon... Dude's. The biscuits were GREAT!! Thank you Linda for the Diet Dr Pepper and Dude's. That was kind of like drinking a Slim Fast while eating doughnuts I guess, but it sure was good.

It doesn't look like we will be home long. We plan on heading to Dallas to see some of our dearest friends. There will be a lot of laying around, more eating poorly, and some catching up with old friends. No planning anything, no worries about timelines, and no early mornings. It will probably mean a break from the blog as well. It has definitely helped us both and after reading all the comments our story has definitely touched a lot of lives. It will only be a short break though. Kristi will more than likely pick up from here and keep everyone updated. Thanks to everyone for the flowers, monkeys, cards and prayers. Godspeed!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Gray Man's program for his Celebration

I wanted to post a program from Gray's "Celebration" tomorrow. There are so many people who want to be here with us, but are unable to do so. We are going to try and video some of the graveside service and hopefully post up the video. Kristi and I have something planned that really means a lot to us and will hopefully be a lasting memory to those who will be involved.

As one of the previous posts stated... I have run out of time. Gray Man received 4 packages today!! I wanted to take pictures of his "gifts", but I just don't have the time. Visitation starts soon. Thanks to all who sent packages. Gray got a picture frame from Kristi's high school friend Darlene, that says "My Little Monkey", which we have put a picture of him in and will be sitting our for the visitation. He also received a great card from the Smiths in South Carolina. There's also a little monkey with a birthday hat on from the Burkes in Connecticut. Another monkey came from Katie in Illinois... he came to us from the Encouragement Foundation in Arkansas. His name is Ned and he has quite a hairdo! Aunt Gwen sent some pretty amazing drawings... cough, cough. Just kidding Gwen, the drawings are way better than mine would have been. It seems she has a Mother's Rose bush planned for Kristi when we get home. Thanks to everyone. Wish I had time to write more.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Running out of time

We are feverishly trying to get everything done that we have invisioned for Gray Man's celebration. Today involved getting all the music together, sorting through over a thousand pictures, printing and picking up pictures at Walgreens, working on the big surprise, and dressing Little Man for his last party.

Amazingly we received a song Kristi really wanted for Saturday just as we were leaving to bring all the music to the funeral home. We burned the CD really quick and headed out the door. Now we have "I Will Carry You" as the prelude for his celebration. Thank you Angie!

Something I haven't thought much about, but will be very apparent tomorrow is how poorly I've been eating. Family and friends haven been supplying all our meals. Of course there are piles of cookies and cakes sitting in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure I have Coke and tea running through my veins. So much for my one Diet Dr. Pepper a day... that flew out the window on 7-7-09. Once the dust settles I'll get back on track. Until then I may have to use the old rubber band on the pants button trick

The mystery monkey at Kinsey's grave remains a mystery. There are so many wonderful people who have touched our lives and so many that have been touched by Gray Man's story. Sometimes things are better left a mystery; one of the times you can make up your own story or imagine what far off place he came from. Whoever you are, thank you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A surprise at Kinsey's grave...

Kristi and I went to Johnson Grove to make sure the slide show would play for Grayson's service on Saturday. After making sure everything was going to work we decided to go visit Kinsey's grave. I pulled the truck up as close as I could get and left the headlights on. Kristi grabbed a flashlight and we walked up to find a huge surprise.

This monkey was huddled up next to her headstone clutching a ladybug. It's hard to see because our flashlight was pretty pitiful. We figured her mom would take credit when we made it back to the house, but she didn't know about it. For now he is a mystery monkey! Thank you whoever delivered him to keep Kinsey company until Saturday.

We also got to see the seating area that was made by some of the Johnson Grove Church members. There are two benches placed on a washed stone concrete pad. It looks really very nice. There wasn't a place to sit at the cemetery before, but now there is a great area by the entrance closest to Kinsey's site. Thanks to those who supplied the concrete and took the time to fix a seating area.

Gray Man's services are set now. Visitation will be held Friday July 17th at Riverwood Family Funeral Services in Bogue Chitto, MS from 5 p.m. until 7 p.m. His celebration of life will be held at Saturday July 18th at Johnson Grove Church of Christ in Bogue Chitto, MS at 1 p.m. There is still much planning to be done, but the times are now set. Thanks again for all the support and prayers.

The time is ticking by...

Time seems to be flying by. There's so many things to be done and loose ends to tie up. One of the hardest parts of planning for Kinsey was picking out her grave marker. The same has to be done with the Gray Man. I'm sure we will pick the same type of stone and we have already picked out what will go on the back of the stone. Kinsey has ladybugs and butterflies engraved in her stone along with a cross and some flowers on the front. I imagine we will put the same cross, but we haven't decided about the flowers.

Saying I've had plenty of time to think and plan is quite an understatement. I don't do well sitting idle without a project or something to work on... so my brain has been working overtime. I've got a few things planned for Gray's funeral. Only a few people know what I have planned so I hope to keep it a surprise. Here's a hint; it involves LOTS of "barrels of monkeys", some air time, the US postal service, and a few thoughtfully selected monkeys that were Gray's. I'll leave it at that in order to keep it under wraps.

It was not an easy task to find "barrels of monkeys". Had we not needed any they would have been all over the place. We enlisted the help of a few different people in 3 different states! Apparently the only city they aren't popular in is Hazlehurst, Mississippi. Thank you Wanda for calling tirelessly until you found them.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It's 12:08. We miss you Grayson.

I sure wish we were celebrating another birthday for Gray. It's tough trying to plan his services, but it has to be done. We sure want it to be more of a celebration of life than a "funeral". Crystal overnighted all of the pictures she took at the hospital. My estimate of how many pictures we have was a bit low. Crystal took almost 600 pictures! One of our projects today is to go through them and decide which ones we want for Gray man's service.

Although we knew that Grayson's chances of being with us for a while were slim, it's been very hard on both Kristi and I. Today would make 1 week old. The process for me has been blunted somewhat because of all the support and prayers. It's been extremely therapeutic to type and keep everyone updated through Kinsey's blog. I can reach hundreds of people without having to explain things over and over. We get immediate feedback from all of "your" wonderful comments. Thanks to everyone for all the support. We are surrounded by family again... I guess I should say we continue to be surrounded. We were only alone when we asked to be.

The details of Little Man's services are still being finalized. We have decided not to have a "private" service for those who have asked. Visitation will more than likely be Friday from 5pm to 7pm at Riverwood Family Funeral Service in Brookhaven Mississippi. The funeral will be on Saturday; possibly in the afternoon. If Kristi's family church; Johnson Grove Church of Christ, is available that afternoon we hope to have his service there. The cemetery is next door to the church. Grayson will be buried next to Kinsey with a spot on either side of them when our time comes.

We love you Grayson and Kinsey.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Gray Man is in Mississippi, and he has his own P.O. Box

Unfortunately all of today's events seem all to familiar. Grayson made the same trip that Kinsey made last year. We made it to Riverwood Funeral Home late this evening and met with Clay McMorris. Last year he helped us out so much with Kinsey. Every time I thought of something we wanted for Kinsey's service he was two steps ahead of me. We didn't want or wait for a thing. Gray Man is in very good hands with Clay.

The trip was a long one. It took us about 6 and a half hours to get here. Bizkit hadn't had a lot of time to read comments on Kinsey's blog, so she read all of the last comments out loud. It took us a few hours just to read all the comments... at that time there were over 160 on the last update. There were a few pauses for tears here and there. So to answer a question from one of Gray Man's fans... I've read every comment. It may take Bizkit a while, but she intends to do the same.

A few people have asked if there is a place they could send a card and some even asked if there was somewhere they could send a monkey for the Gray Man. We set up a P.O. box in Brookhaven where we will be for the week. Kristi's dad and uncle both work at the post office and will be able to pick up any of Gray's mail. Although Kristi and I will only be here for the week, Grayson "Monkey Man" Thompson's P.O. box will be manned for 6 months by his Grandpa and his Uncle Mark.

Grayson Thomas Thompson
P.O. Box 4025
Brookhaven, MS 39603

Our plan is not really set from here. We plan on having services for Gray on Saturday to give our families time to get here. There's a few loose ends we have to tie up and a lot of picture printing to be done. There's a little redheaded angel we plan on visiting frequently while we are here as well.

I'm so used to posting pictures of Grayson I almost can't post without a picture. This on always makes me smile when I see it. I took this a couple days after we got home last year from Kinsey's funeral. For those who may not know, I bought Macey for Bizkit on the way home from Mississippi to help her occupy the time. Everytime people look at this picture they tell me how cute she is and want to know how I got her to wave for the camera. The truth is I was a terrible "Dad" to Macey when I took the picture. She was actually stepping through the railing and ended up a foot below in the flower bed. So there you have it, enjoy the picture and try to imagine that some folks actually thought I could get a 12 week old Jack Russell puppy to wave for pictures!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Grayson went to be with Kinsey

Little Gray Man passed away tonight about 830 pm. He was so tired. We wanted so much for him to make it to see more monkeys, but that was no life to live. He was loved and gave us so much to remember. I know we have over 1000 pictures of him.

He is gone now. Hospice and the coroner have been to the house. Arkansas Central Mortuary Service just picked Little Man up. It was hard to let him go even though we both know he is really already gone. He is in a better place now.

This is all too familiar for us unfortunately. Our plan is to pick Grayson up tomorrow and drive back to Mississippi the same way we did with Kinsey. Gray will be buried right next to Kinsey at Johnson Grove Church of Christ in Bogue Chitto, MS. I always thought it would be me and Bizkit on either side of Kinsey, but it looks like we will have two children between us. We miss him so much.

God speed, Little Man
Sweet dreams, Little Man
Oh OUR love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Sweet dreams

5 wonderful days

We've made it to 5 days with Grayson. He is truly a miracle baby. Our time with him has been the best time of our lives. His cry is getting stronger, he is tolerating 20 cc of feedings now, and he is even trying to lift up his little head. I never thought any of that would happen.
Little man's 5 day party was pretty laid back. Mornings have not been his favorite. Seems the past couple days he's been really fussy between 9 and 12. It usually subsides, but this morning was a little worse. When he cries he doesn't breathe well and his color goes from pink to purple. The defects in his heart can attest for a lot of his oxygen problems, but it doesn't help Mommy and Daddy much when he's in the middle of a fussy spell.

Here's to you Grayson. You made 5 days longer than most said you would. Keep proving everyone wrong. Keep being an exception to the rule. Keep people guessing as to how you do what you do. Keep on kickin buddy. We love you!

Gray Man gets 2 monkeys today... No real explanation for that, but he deserves it. He gets the last monkey... I mean Minkey, from Jennifer and Ashley's midnight monkey run and he also gets another sock monkey from his Aunts Kim, Lisa, and Snady. That's right it's Aunt Snady, not Aunt Sandy. It's a long story and you would just have to know her... She would probably say it should be Aunt Skimmy rather than Aunt Kim as well. Either way, we love them as much as they love the little man. Happy 5 days with more to come.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Day 4 surprise party

Here is the video from Grayson's 4 day party. Lots of folks have been making fun of my pitiful birthday signs, so I decided to step it up a little. Take it up a notch if you will. Know my problem is going to be topping it each day. It's gonna be tough.

Is there a Gorilla in the room?

This is an oldie but a goodie. This monkey dates back to 1991. It was a special gift when Linda moved to Louisiana to keep her company. Now his job is to look after Grayson.

This monkey just showed up this evening bearing gifts. He brought us dinner. Thanks Shannon.
Gray is doing well this evening. We are headed to bed after all the big fights are over. We're sorry Alan didn't win his big fight... well let's rephrase that, it's too bad he was robbed in a split decision. That guys eye looked like Gray Mans when he was born.
Hopefully our night will be as good as the later half of the day.

Gray has Monkey Butt

Seems Grayson even has monkey evening attire. I sure wish the picture of his outfit would come up... it would explain the title a little better.

I must admit this is the most I said monkey and not minkey. We've always called them minkeys for some reason. Who knows why. Since I'm giving up secrets I might as well tell y'all that I never call my wife by her real name; Kristi. I've called her Bizkit since before we were married. SSSSHHHH don't tell her I told you.

Anyway, hopefully Gray's new pictures will come up. So you can see how good he is doing this evening. We went back down to 2L on his o2 and he seems really calm. He has spent most of the day laying on mine or BIZKIT's chest. I'm not sure who likes it more, me or him. I can rub on his little chicken legs and play with his feet.

We are all gearing up to watch Grayson's cousin in one of his biggest fights yet. Grayman's cousin fights in the UFC. His name is Alan Belcher. He's had a good number of fights in the UFC so far and has done well. Gray sent him a text message earlier and gave him a little message from one fighter to another. Good luck Alan!

Our wonderful internet service...

I can tell you there is no hope of getting a picture of Grayson's party much less a video on Youtube. Our wonderful satellite internet is running at a snails pace. Just know that Gray Man had a great surprise and my sign for his 4 day party was much BIGGER and better than his first 3.

Grayson hasn't left our bedroom today and probably will not. His oxygen sats have been mid to low 80's for most of the day. He's been tolerating his feedings, but for some reason he is worn slap out. Don't get me wrong though, he is still as cute as ever. We've increased his O2 to 3 liters via his nasal cannula, but it doesn't seem to be helping much. Dr Hall told us we could go up to 5 liters on him if we needed to, but it already seems like it's blowing so hard in his little nostrils. As long as he is comfortable we are ok.

It's Monkey time!

Monkey Man as one of Grayson's fans calls him just turned 4 days old! We are so proud of our little monkey man. The last few hours have been really tough. We are just going to enjoy him and celebrate life right now. It's tough to do sometimes, but we know what Gray Man's fate is. He's here for a purpose and when that purpose is fulfilled he will get to play with Kinsey.

Today we had a special birthday party for Grayson. Kristi didn't even know what we were doing. She took a video that we will hopefully put on youtube soon so everyone can see Gray Man's party.

Happy 4 day Birthday Little Monkey Man.

A special thanks to Mark from Pediatric Specialists. He brought us a compressed oxygen tank with 100 1lbs of oxygen. Gray has his own oxygen bar now! The new tank is not dependent on electricity and we can fill his new portable tank straight from the big stand up. Mark told us the tank should last about a week. We can't thank him enough. Little man said we could pay him with anything but monkeys!

He's still here!

Mommas eyes never left the Gray man last night. She didn't get a wink of sleep, but he sure did. He seems to do so much better at night, not sure if it's the activity of the day time or what. We've even hit another milestone. He is tolerating 15 ml of feeding! 20 ml is his goal, but we never thought it would get that far. No residuals whatsoever for the past 2 feedings. I just know that he will get so much stronger if he can take more food.

I had to call Pediatric Specialties this morning because our portable oxygen tank is almost empty. We still have the machine that makes oxygen for him, but it only goes to 2 liters a minute. When he was doing badly we had to bump him up to 3 liters on his portable tank. It really only last a couple of hours at that setting. Hopefully they can bring us a new tank today, but the office is closed. Someone is supposed to be calling me back. We won't think about needing more oxygen right now though.

Grayson says Good Morning and thanks for the prayers. Another monkey is just a few hours away.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Little Man is tired...

The past few hours with Gray man has been a real roller coaster. He almost went to be with Kinsey. His breathing got pretty labored and his heart rate dropped low enough that it wouldn't register on his monitor. His mom and I held him tight, told him we loved him and that it was ok for him to go see Kinsey. All the family came in and gave him kisses goodbye. Lots of tears were shed. Everyone left the three of us in our bedroom and we just laid together.

It seems Grayson really wants to get another monkey though. After a few hours of cuddling him and praying over him he is doing a little better. His breathing is not as labored and his heart rate has been stable for an hour or so. He does have some fever; 101.2. Some of the blankets came off and Gray got to show off his pipes and his sexy legs. I told his Aunt Wanda the only difference in his chicken legs and mine is hair!

It's about bed time, but we won't be getting much sleep. Please pray for the little man. Hopefully there will be good news in the morning and another monkey picture at 1208.

The support has been amazing. Thanks to everyone.

I want to take a minute to thank some folks by name and others we don't even know. I will apologize now for messing up some of the names, but you know who you are. We have been getting daily visits from our special hospice nurses since the Gray man made it home. It's fairly easy to remember their names because they are Becky and Becky. They have been great to us. Anything we have needed and some things we didn't even really know we might need, they take care of it. One mention of maybe having a sat monitor at the house and later that evening we had it. As concerned as everyone is for little man, the Becky's are also concerned about us and make sure we are OK as well. It's funny that they are fellow nurses, but in a completely different specialty. Their world is so different than the work world I've always known. They are special people and see things everyday that would emotionally cripple most.

Brad, a chaplain with hospice came out and met with us yesterday. It is such a small world... he knows some of the same folks we do. He prayed with us and had such kind words.

We also got a visit today from Dr. Wyatt and Dr Robertson from Hospice as well. They assure us that everyone is a phone call away and to let them know if there is anything we or Grayson needs. Jackie, a social worker with hospice, also came out to check on Kristi and I as well. They are such a great support system. All of them are a phone call away.

That brings me to thanking Kim, Leslie, and Adam. They came to visit today on their way home. I grew up with them and they are a huge part of my life. Kim and Adam's mom, Mona, died last year 4 weeks to the day of Kinsey's death. She never got to hold Kinsey and we sure hate that she's not here to hold Grayson. I can tell you she would be sitting on my couch holding him while telling me it only takes 13 seconds to heat up my chocolate chip pie in the microwave. She was a wonderful mother to me as well during my life and I wish she were still here with us. She is rocking Kinsey in heaven waiting on the Gray man to fill her other arm. We miss you Mona!

A huge thanks to all of Kristi's family who have spent countless hours making phone calls, cooking food, running people around here and there, and getting us everything we need. We are glad to hear that Peyton made it back safe to Panama City. She has been a rock for Kristi and we can't thank her enough. Thanks as well to my Dad and Linda for all of their support, time, and everything else they have helped us with. They have helped in ways that most will never know. Without such a great support system we would be destined for failure in a quick way. Thanks as well to all the people commenting on the blog posts. I cry everytime I read the posts to Kristi while she is feeding Grayson. I even start crying when I read "You don't know me but". There are so many people who don't even know us or our family who post. Every post means the world to us. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

We would also like to thank Dr. Paul Wendel for everything he has done for us. He always has the right words for every situation. Grayson was his first baptism; congratulations Dr Wendel. He is a blessing to all his patients, we think the world of him. His nurse practitioner Stephanie as well, we are glad to call her our friend. We've called and texted her many times for help when we didn't know who else to call. The neonatologist Whit Hall is an amazing man. We've had to call his cell phone a couple times to ask questions about Grayson and he is so kind. He told Kristi to call him any time; day or night. Heather... you look amazing in the slideshow. I'm glad we talked you into getting in the pictures. Heather was Kristi's nurse during delivery... she kept our room free of prying eyes and even residents. She does amazing work and I'm glad Kristi can call her a friend. A big thanks to Treasure as well. She was our nurse during admission. Everyone in the Angels Call Center that work with Kristi and to those from the Heart who thought of us and brought food. And to everyone else we forgot to mention... you will not be forgotten.

We continue to hope that the Gray Man will touch as many people as possible and help in a way we don't quite know yet. He has had so many visitors from family to friends to nurses and even strangers. There is something to learn from all of them and hopefully Grayson touches them all. He's quite the superstar these days. I told Kim, Leslie and the Beckys that Grayson is possibly the most photographed child ever. We love you Grayson and can't wait to give you another monkey!

Grayson's 3rd day Birthday

Grayson celebrated his 3rd day with us today at 1208. His Great Grandparents from Brookhaven Mississippi made it here to see him. Thank you Uncle Mark, Aunt Wanda, and Peyton for all the help. As smoothly as some things have gone there's been a few bumps in the road from airports all the way down to broken down vehicles! Mark and Wanda have spent more time on the road than most truck drivers here lately shuttling folks around so Kristi and I can spend more time with the Gray man.

Another special thanks goes to Ashley and Jennifer. They made a "midnight monkey run" to get Grayson's presents for the next couple parties. We were running low on monkeys. I hope we have to add on another room to house to keep all the monkeys! Enjoy the pictures.

Gray man may look a little upset in his pictures. He wanted a piece of chocolate cake, but we told him it wouldn't go down his tube. Happy 3 day BDay Little Man!

Morning update

Grayson had a pretty good night. Kristen from Pediatric Specialties brought us a sat monitor to hook him to so we kept him on the monitor all night. Right when we went to bed his sats were hanging around 78-82%. After he ate his sats started easing up into the low 90's. A few times last night he alarmed with a heart rate as low as 70... we roused him a little and he came back up to the 150's. I think he was probably pooping or something. Without the sat monitor we never would have known that he was doing it.
He is still in his little bed that stays between Kristi and I at night. Since he is sleeping so well Krisit is just sitting with him for a while. Gray man's birthday party will be in a few hours at 1208; I will post up a picture shortly after he gets his new Monkey.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Hang in there Gray Man 7-9-09

Grayson slept well last night and is tolerating his feedings a little better. We were up... well I say we lightly. Let me rephrase a little... Kristi was up every 3 hours last night feeding the Gray Man. I'm pretty sure I missed one feeding, but I was on diaper duty while Kristi was feeding. It was a pretty good system. Grayson does not like a wet diaper. He cries immediately after his diaper is wet.

Little man scared us about 10 O'clock today. Kristi and I were feeding him in the bedroom and he quit breathing for a couple of minutes. Both of us nurses and we freaked out. All our training went out the window. We have no plans of reviving him when that time gets here, but we weren't ready for him to go. After turning up is oxygen and putting his pacifier in his mouth he finally came around and took a few good breaths. Again it was great to hear him cry!

We made it to 1208 again and Grayson had another little BDay party. He is 2 days old now and got another monkey present.

Happy 2nd Day BDay Grayson!!
As you can tell in this picture Little Man's color is so much better. His face is not quite as swollen and a lot of his purple color is going away.
For now everyone is up to speed on the little Gray man. I'd like to thank everyone for all their support; from friends, family, nurses, doctors, and even people we have never met before. Thank you for all the comments and prayers. This is an amazing experience. Grayson is teaching me so much about life and living. His mother is an amazing person and seeing her with him makes me cry. Thank you Grayson and Kristi for being so wonderful!

Grayson Thomas Day 2

Grayson didn't have a very good night. He will not take a bottle so we had to have a tube placed through his nose into his stomach for feeding. He is not tolerating his feedings at all. For a baby his size he needs about 20 cc of formula every 3 hours. Unfortunately he is only keeping a few cc's down.

It's afternoon now and Grayson is doing OK. Dr Hall, a neonatologist, suggested we increase his oxygen from 1/2 liter to 1 liter. All of his breathing is unassisted, but without oxygen his o2 sats are 80%; which is not good. His color looks much better on the extra oxygen.

We keep hearing rumors that we might be able to go home today, but there is so much to get set up. It has always been our wish to take little man home no matter how sick he was. Home is a much better place for him than the hospital. Before we can leave we have to have oxygen at home and hospice needs to be set up. Every time I say Hospice thinking about our son it makes me cry. Hospice is supposed to be for someone who has lived their life not someone who is just beginning to live.

Kristi and I decided that we would celebrate everyday of Grayson's life as a birthday. We got this idea from Eliot's parents in 99 balloons. Eliot was a little boy with Trisomy 18 who lived for 99 days. His parents are amazing and did a wonderful video and posted it on youtube; 99 balloons. So everyday at 1208 pm Grayson gets a gift for his daily BDay... just so happens he is a huge fan of monkeys.

HAPPY 1 DAY BDAY GRAYSON. The Sock Monkey is your first monkey gift.

By late afternoonLittle Man started tolerating about half of his feedings. Word here is a hospice nurse from Arkansas Hospice will be to the hospital to get us set up and the folks with the oxygen will be here by 3.

After a few hours and a long long time pacing the floors.... GRAYSON THOMAS THOMPSON is going HOME!! We had our car seat test, hospice is set up, and we have a nifty little machine that will make all of Grayson's oxygen.

We made it home a little after 6pm. No matter what happens from here out, Grayson will live his last moments surrounded by family in our home. We are so proud of you Little Man!

July 7th 2009 Grayson Thomas Thompson is born!!

We are so happy right now. Grayson was born today and we heard him cry. I never thought I would love to hear a baby crying, but I sure do love to hear him. Him crying means he is still with us. Against all odds Grayson not only made it to term, he made it to delivery and is still with us. Kristi is doing well... I'm having to type for Kristi and catch up the blog since she is not quite up to typing. Grayson came out face first so he is really bruised up. His little face looks like a grape. His eyes are swollen shut and his little face is PURPLE.

A professional photographer volunteered her time to take pictures for us. Her name is Crystal Goss and she is truly an amazing person. The pictures she took are absolutely perfect. I sure wish she had been there when Kinsey was born. We would like to share a slideshow with everyone that Crystal put together. The link is:
There aren't words to describe how grateful we are to Crystal for what she has given our family.

Grayson did well today. We are so proud of him.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Grayson's Birthday Tomorrow...

I went to see my Doctor this morning, and our report was good. I will be admitted at 2 am, and then they will start my induction a few hours later. I am 75% Effaced and 3 cm dilated.
Weird time to be admitted to the hospital... it all has to do with timing though. We want our Doctors to be able to be there, and this is the best way to make it happen.
I wish that we had more of an idea of how Grayson will be when he is born, but my Doctor as well as us...just don't know. It's all up to God and Grayson, and we pray that it does go well. We pray for an easy delivery and that Grayson will be strong.
I am very nervous, and anxious...but excited at the same time. I look forward to meeting Grayson face to face, I pray that we get to bring him home and spoil him. I pray that he will do well during delivery and that God (and Kinsey) will be with him every second to give him strength.
We will have family there at the hospital with us tomorrow morning to help welcome him into the world. I of course don't know when I will be able to be back here to post anything. All of my focus will be on Grayson after tonight. I am still amazed by all of the people praying for us right now... I ask for continued prayers tonight and tomorrow. I hope that I can be as strong for Grayson as I want to be...and that he will get to come home.
Thank you all and God Bless.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

4th of July 2009

Grayson and have made it to the 4th... now to just make it through the rest of the weekend. I had family start to come in yesterday for the week. My parents and brother got here yesterday. My cousin Peyton is flying in from Panama City, Fl this morning...and she actually just landed in Atlanta.
Tomorrow we are expecting to have my Uncle and two Aunts, and another cousin arrive...then on Monday Taylor's Dad and Stepmom arrive. We wil have a house full of family here and God willing Grayson will get to meet them all.

We plan on having a lazy day today eating BBQ sandwiches (with cole slaw of course) and shooting fireworks tonight.
I want to say how much I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers coming our way. To know that we have so many people from Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas and all across the country praying for us is amazing. It's like I said before, a humbling experience and a blessing to know that Grayson ( and Kinsey) have made such an impression.
I have had so many comments on how strong I am during everything we have going on... but I don't feel that way. In fact the closer we get, the more nervous I get. All the strength I have doesn't come from me, I have prayed for all of it. If it were just me...I am too broken to deal with all we have coming up. All my strength right now comes from God, and it's all directed to Grayson right now.
I know that I want him to experience nothing but peace and strength and love...and God willing I will stay strong enough through Faith to be able to show him that.
There will be time for mourning...and God willing that will be a long time from now. Now is a time for Faith, Hope and Love.
I received a few Bible verses from someone who commented on my Blog. They hit home, and will be some that I have in my mind through this weekend and beyond.

"...I am He, He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalms 34:18

Happy 4th of July everyone... and remember all of those who keep us safe and free today.
God Bless all of our troops fighting for our freedom now, the ones who fought in the past...and the ones who died to keep us safe.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Ladybugs for Kinsey and Grayson's Garden

Taylor and I have a Garden this year, and its actually growing. We have tons of green tomatoes, and a LOT of peppers. We also grew a zucchini that was 14 inches long and 13 inches in diameter!
I ordered some Ladybugs a few days ago, and last night Taylor, Grayson and I put them in their house...(that Taylor built by the way)...and we scattered them across the garden.
The ladybugs of course remind us of Kinsey, and I'm sure her little brother will like them too.

It's the day before the 4th of July, and Grayson and I are still hanging in there. Only a few more days God willing. I pray that Grayson gets to come home with and see the garden for himself... and of course the Ladybugs.

The ladybugs were all over us, and all over my bracelet. We had to get a picture of it. In case you can't make it out.... it says Kinsey & Grayson.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


I don't know what to say really, except that I am humbled by all of the comments and prayers that are being sent our way.
I had no idea about Kelly, or her prayer blog... but I am glad that I am a part of it.

Grayson's latest update is that as of last week he is up to 4lbs and 11oz. He may hit 5lbs before birth! I am done with work at this point, and I have to say I am glad... Even though we won't make any money while we are off having Grayson. I'm just tired. It's not something we can help, Taylor and I both started new jobs in March... so we don't have any medical or personal leave built up this time. We are lucky enough to both be nurses though, and to have been able to save a little in advance. We know that we will be okay though, and that God will provide for what we need.
We both have been lucky enough though to have new jobs, where the people are great and understanding of what we are having to face. Not to say that the people at our old jobs aren't great to... let me make sure and say that!

We have family coming here starting tomorrow to help out, and to be here to meet Grayson. If all goes as "planned", I will be able to make it through the holiday weekend and go into the hospital Monday night to start being induced.
The closer it gets, I have so many mixed emotions. Nervous, excitement, fear...just to mention a few. I just pray for peace and courage for myself and my husband, so we can be there for Grayson like we should. We just want him to survive delivery and be as healthy he can be at birth.
Of course we don't know what will happen, and that's one of the hardest parts of all this. Will Grayson survive delivery? Will he be able to breathe on his own after he is born? Will he be able to make it through the day...the night, the next day? Will we be able to bring him home?
So many questions... so many fears.
I just don't want to have to leave the hospital without our baby again. To bring him home would be such a blessing... that is one of my biggest prayers.
I know that God will be with us, and Kinsey will be watching over us as well.
Lord just please be with us and give us the strength and courage and peace to be able to get through this...and be the strongest parents for Grayson that we can be.