Monday, May 13, 2013

Wipe Out

This was so perfect for me to read this morning.  
From a Face book post by "Silent Grief - Child Loss Support".  Definitely explains my feelings of complete wipe out today.  

'Following a major holiday such as Mother's Day, a parent of child loss will often feel like there is no energy to even get dressed much less navigate through the day. Doctors will tell us that one day of grieving takes the same amount of energy as it would to work for 8 solid hours in a field with a pick and shovel in the blazing, hot sun. Grief depletes us of our physical and emotional energy, that's why it's so very important to rest and drink lots of fluids following a day of hard grieving. God bless every parent, grandparent, sibling, and family member grieving the loss of a child today. Please take care and try to understand how much stress your body and mind go through when grieving the loss of your child. Nothing at all is easy about child loss!'

For all of you like me today, feeling the wipe out... you aren't alone. 

I go at 1:00 for my procedure... not the best day for it to happen, but just ready to get it over with.  Maybe I'll be so exhausted from yesterday... that it won't be so bad! :)

Godspeed to all of you today feeling like you have worked 8 hours with a pick and shovel.

I plan on hitting today head on..... 


Sunday, May 12, 2013

A Humbling Mother's Day 2013

Mother's Day.  A "made up holiday" as my Daddy would say :) .... but it still has meaning.  
Every year, I have to admit that I subconsciously can feel it getting closer.  Its difficult, to say the least. I didn't go to church this morning... still am not able to go on Mother's Day, too emotionally draining.  

This year I was awakened by text messages starting at 0730.  From family and friends who were just too sweet to think of me today.  It was pretty humbling. I do hope that all my friends who are mothers, had an incredible day today. 

Also had a gift from my best friend Gayden, of my fav... chocolate covered strawberries... and a couple of brooches (James, I know you will love that:) that her daughter helped pick out. Not to mention a handwritten card that made me cry ;)

I am so happy that my own Mother is in New Orleans for the weekend.  Enjoying a getaway with my Daddy and another couple they have been friends with since they were kids.  I was very glad she was doing something she enjoyed.  
I went to Brookhaven to visit my grandparents for a little while, and also my Aunt and Uncle.  Was a good visit, and enjoyed seeing them all.  Macey (my Jack Russell) made the trip with me today.... which was a little therapeutic. 

I went to the church cemetery, which of course was main part of my visit.  The weather was perfect.  I took tulips and just sat outside and soaked in the peacefulness.  It was a very bittersweet day.  I can't even attempt to put into words how much I miss them.  How much I miss the present and future with them... its just too overwhelming to attempt to describe.

I do want to ask for a prayer tomorrow... for a small procedure I have to do at 1:00.  Just prayers for good results would be appreciated.  I know the prayers of God's people can have amazing results... if it is God's will. 

I do hope that all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day doing exactly what you wanted to do, and that you were able to see and hug and love on your children.  Enjoy every second of it... never take one minute of it for granted. 
Thank you all again so much for remembering me as a Mother... I literally feel them with me all the time.