Sunday, November 15, 2009
November
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
High School Reunions & Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
The International Wave of Light sees participants participating from around the world starting at 1900 hours on October 15 in all time zones.
Participants begin lighting their candles at 1900 hours and burn their candle for a period of at least one hour. The Result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period in honor and remembrance of the children who pass away during pregnancy and shortly after birth.
Candles can be lighted individually or in groups, in your home or in a community setting. Wherever you are, you will be joining an international wave of light in memory of all the children who have passed away during pregnancy and shortly after birth.
Godspeed.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
GrayMan's P.O. Box ...and a Poem
The address again is:
Grayson Thomas Thompson
P.O. Box 4025
Brookhaven , Ms 39603
I plan on putting in a post soon to show all the things Gray has received in his P.O. Box. I have meant to do this numerous times, and just haven't yet. It's pretty emotional to go through everything.. but we are so grateful for all we received for him. Thank you to all of you who sent a card or a package. Hopefully I will get it on here next week after our trip.
Also I wanted to post a Poem that was written for Grayson and Kinsey. It was written by my cousin Angie in Brookhaven. She sent it to me this morning. It made me tear up and smile at the same time. I though it was very sweet of her to write... and so touching that she still has my babies on her mind. Thank you Angie. We all love you.
IN THE LAP OF JESUS
Kinsey Grace
Grayson Thomas
Forever in contentment in His arms abide
Little smiles and hugs, to Him belong survive
Their hearts with us we carry until the day of peace
When we together reign with God and them to be
Peace be still my little ones not long will we be
With you in His presence, again will we see
The love for you we’ll carry deep down in our being
To walk with you in silence, our souls embrace such feeling
Till then to you my Kinsey, with pick cheeks so whimsy
Hold God’s hand and follow His plan till I will see you plenty
To you my Gray Man, He too has a plan, my sweet Angel in the sky
From monkeys, dragonflies and ladybugs to all the butterflies
We Love You and we cherish you, in Him our faith abides
Kinsey Grace Thompson
Grayson Thomas Thompson
“To you we say GODSPEED”
We’ll live on earth and follow GOD’s plan to be with you indeed.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Life, Football and Getting Away

Friday, August 28, 2009
One week down
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My last week off
Taylor has been working alot the past couple of weeks, overtime hours. We needed the money, and the hours were available...so he sucked it up and did it. I hate that he has worked so much lately...but I love him for it too. He always gives me a hard time when he has worked overtime. He likes to say he is "providing" for this family... He always makes me laugh when he says that. Tonight he is beat. He goes in early tomorrow...and then off the weekend.
We are making a short trip to Dallas this weekend. He is in another Fantasy Football league (I'm not in this one) and they are having a live draft that he wants to go to. SO.... that means we leave after he gets off work tomorrow.
While he is doing the draft, I plan on having a day out with my friends Kenny and Sallie Ann. I'm sure that there will be some Mexican food in that equation somewhere. I'm looking forward to hanging out with them again. They always are able to put me in a better mood.
After that, I'm sure that there will be dinner at Cuba Libre Saturday night... that place is soooo good. This weekend will also be the end of my eating binges... I start my diet on Monday. Not looking forward to it.
We will have to come back early on Sunday, so it will be a really short trip... we won't get to see hardly anyone we are friends with while we are there because of me having to come back and start work on Monday.
I can't say that I am "ready" to go back to work... but I don't know if you are ever "ready". I do know that I am glad to be going back to work where I am employed now. It would be harder to go back to work knowing that I had to take care of a child in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I gave that 12 years of my life...and I am just fine working at a no direct patient care nursing job right now. I miss the people I worked with, but I know that they are all happy that I'm doing something else thats good for me. I am also blessed enough to work with another amazing group of people. The nurses I am working with have been so great and so supportive of us.
It's quite ironic that the group I work for now are appropriately named "ANGELS".
Taylor and I have a couple that we are good friends with here in Little Rock. Ryan and Amber. They went home from the hospital today with a healthy baby boy. I am SO thankful that their new baby is normal and healthy, I prayed he would be. At the same time it is bittersweet...its so hard to deal with all of the emotions. Taylor and I are happy for them, and will hopefully be seeing them sometime soon. It will just take us some time. I know that our friends understand that this is hard on us. It just really beings up alot of emotions. It makes us miss Gray and Kinsey even more. Even talking about them going home with the baby today made me cry.
I know that Kinsey and Grayson will be watching over their new baby boy... and they want us to meet him. Like I said before, it will just take some time.
I am headed back into the laundry room to finish up things for the Dallas trip. Even a short weekend trip can be such a beating having to pack. Of course we have to pack things for Macey too. She is looking forward to seeing her "Uncle Kenny" again!

P.S. I don't know how I almost forgot to mention this....
Taylor was at work yesterday in the hospital and felt something on his arm. He looked down and kind of flinched because he didn't know what it was. Guess what it was... A LADYBUG. Yep, a ladybug inside the hospital. And it landed on him. What are the odds of that??
We know who it was saying "hello".
Godspeed.
Friday, August 14, 2009
More Birthday Pictures
My Mom did what I wasn't able to do... take balloons and flowers to the cemetary.
Kinsey's Birthday was July 28th of course, and I was here in Little Rock. Taylor was supposed to start to work that next day, so we couldn't really drive to Mississippi.
Thank God for my Mom.
She got balloons and the flowers that we wanted (Stargazer Lillies of course), as well as making a homemade wreath for Kinsey. It had butterflies and ladybugs, as well a little doll. It also had a couple of little things for GrayMan...a few Monkeys and cars. You know they would have played with each others toys...and probably fought over them!
Thank you Mama for doing the things that I'm not able to do, and thank you for just being my Mom...and a great Mimi to my babies. I wish you had been able to spoil them more here in this life, but I know that one day when we are with them again...you will really SPOIL them.
FINALLY....Pictures and Video from Kinsey's 1st Birthday
In case you didn't catch what Taylor said in the video, the tree I am in front of is a tree that we planted in memory of Kinsey last fall. Its a Sugar Maple tree that turns bright orange-red in the fall...really pretty. We thought the Sugar Maple was a great choice because of the color... Kinsey's bright red hair helped in that decision.
Godspeed.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Keeping busy, and seeing Signs
I also have a couple of pictures of some surprises that were given to us for GrayMan... whenever I can get them to load on here, I will post them. Hopefully that will happen sooner than later.
I am at home today, Taylor is back at work. I start back on August 24th. I have just been trying to keep myself busy at home. I have cleaned out 2 closets, working on the office...and then will find something else to clean. I have cooked two new dishes...(which Taylor loved) and will be trying a few more new things. I also am still working on Thank You cards. I have so many to write, I have just been doing a little at a time. Keeping myself busy keeps my mind occupied somewhat... but I never really have Gray and Kinsey off my mind.
I have heard from so many people that compliment me on my strength and faith...
I don't really know if that's the correct way to put things. I don't feel strong right now.
I pray, and I have my Faith...but its hard to not have questions for God. I will always wonder why Gray and Kinsey...why Taylor and I? Why were we chosen to deal with all of this pain and hurt? All we wanted was to have a healthy child to bring home. To start a family.
Will we have that one day?
I see so many women at work (in the hospital) and on TV that treat their babies so badly! Drinking and doing crack or meth while they are pregnant and breastfeeding. Abusing and neglecting their babies and children. All the while, they were able to have a healthy baby to bring home...and they treat them like that! They should be so grateful for what they have! It's enough to make me insane and furious at the same time. SO... don't think I don't have my moments. It's really easy to be bitter... but it's really difficult to be positive. That's where keeping busy helps. Idle minds are the easiest to stray. I constantly pray and ask Christ to give us strength to keep going. That's really all I know to do right now.
Honestly, we haven't even begun to talk about the future. I don't think its fair to our babies to go that route right now. Taylor and I need to have some time together, and to visit family...and that's what we have planned.
One day though we will talk about our future. What will it be? and where will it lead? I don't know. We do want a family... we just aren't sure where to go from here. We have so much to give, and just would love to have babies to raise here on this earth.
Seeing Taylor with Gray was such an amazing site. The look on Taylor's face when Gray was born...and the way he looked holding him, it was just perfect. I will never forget that, I know Taylor won't either. He is a great Daddy to both of our babies. Thank you Taylor for being such a good Daddy for them...and for being here for me. He is a strong guy, and I am lucky to have him as my husband.
I will always just wish to have Grayson and Kinsey back with us... although I know that will never be. They are in a place they would never want to leave. Thank You God. I know they want us to add to the family, they will be watching over us always. I just pray that God wants that for us as well.
SIGNS
People talk about signs. Signs from beyond that make you think of someone who is no longer on earth. I like to think I have seen some of those lately... I know I have.
I always think of Ladybugs and Butterflies when I think of Kinsey. And it isn't just Monkeys that remind me of Gray. For some reason Blue Butterflies and Dragonflies remind me of GrayMan too.
Is it just a coincidence that we have been swarmed by dragonflies lately?? Honestly I have seen hundreds here at our house and around town this past week. They are out in swarms... it's amazing! Taylor and I love it. He was cutting the grass last weekend...(with a push mower nonetheless. Our riding mower is broken...AGAIN)... and was literally walking through a hundred dragonflies!
Another thing that amazed me last week was this: I was sitting on the front porch talking to my Mom and Aunt Judy. I had been watching this Blue Butterfly fly around on the front porch and in the flower beds. Of course it reminded me of Gray. Then in a split second it landed on my left cheek! Just for a second...almost like a kiss. I believe it was from my Little Man.
I may be crazy, but when has a butterfly ever landed on my face?
Godspeed.
Friday, August 7, 2009
One Month Ago
One month ago we were scared.
One month ago we were blessed.
One month ago we were thankful.
One month ago we were happy.
One month ago... Grayson was born.
Hard to believe that it has been one month since that day. It was such an amazing day. I do believe it was given to us all by Christ.
Grayson touched so many people and continues to do so. Kinsey has done the same.
Our children have done what we could have never done...
I believe it was their purpose, it was their reason for life...and their reason for leaving us here.
I won't even try to lie and say that I am "okay". I'm not. I'm Broken. I'm in a place that I wish on no one. But I am thankful for having known them.
I am grateful that I am able to remember Gray's sounds, and smells, and his touch. I can still feel the top of his head when I would kiss him. Sounds crazy, but I can.
I pray that I never forget that.
After losing Kinsey, we were also broken. Grayson helped us to mend. Don't get me wrong, I will never "get over" losing her...but he gave us a focus. A new life to watch over, and he helped us. I pray that we were able to help him, even just a tiny bit as much as he did for us.
As a nurse, it killed me that I wasn't able to "fix" him. That I wasn't able to do all I wanted to do. I'm sure Taylor felt the same.
We couldn't save our babies...but I believe they have saved us. I also believe that they have saved a few others...some that I don't even know.
For that, we are grateful.
I don't think I could put into words how much all the support, prayers and comments have meant to us. They have kept us going...
As I said before, Gray gave us a child to look over after losing Kinsey. But now, its just us. There is no one but each other to look after...
I'm not sure where to go from here, what road to take. I don't know what else to do. I don't know if Taylor knows either.
But we will keep breathing, and keep taking one step at a time. That's all I know to do. I have no other answers.
I watched the slide show of Grayson at 12:08pm today. It just seemed appropriate.
http://www.crystalgoss.com/#/graysonthomas/
Just a poem that speaks to me...
"For you to love while he lives, and mourn for when he is dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.”
“I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane, I have selected you.
Now you will give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again?”
I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known forever grateful stay;
But shall the angels call for him much sooner than we’ve planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”
--Edgar Guest
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Pictures and Videos
so finally, here they are:
First of all, these are a few pictures from Gray's "Celebration of Life".
There were a few friends asking to see what we did at the end of his service... so here are a couple of videos.
I also thought I would show something that was done for us by our Church Family at Johnson Grove. We had the idea to make an area at the cemetary where people could sit and arrange their flowers, or just sit and think and pray. My Grandma had some benches she gave us, and my family took them out to the cemetary. The enterence gate is directley behind Kinsey's (and now Grayson too) stone... the benches were placed in the corner to the right when you walk in the gate. We wanted to put a cement slab down, and a marker to honor the memory of our children.
My parents had mentioned this to some people at church... to see how they liked the idea. We were planning on waiting until later in the year to have the slab poured under the benches.
To show how great our Church Family is...
My Grandma and Aunt had gone to the cemetary while my parents were in Arkansas with us. They called us and said that someone had poured the cement under the benches...and it looked great! They even put washed rock in the cement and white rocks all around the edges... it is truly a beautiful area now.
God has blessed us with so many good people in our lives. We can never repay all the love and support that has been shown to us all.
The area was beautiful at Grayson's "Celebration", and we owe it all to our family at Johnson Grove. Thank you all so very much.
Taylor and I took Ladybug's to the church for Gray and Kinsey before we left Mississippi. We couldn't even think of leaving without delivering Ladybugs. I believe GrayMan likes them too.
When we went to Dallas, we let a Monkey Balloon go for Gray and Kinsey. We were at Kenny's place and he got to be there with us to let them go. It was a pretty windy day in Dallas that day, and they really just took off. There is something so relaxing and beautiful watching those balloons climb out of sight....

Taylor made a video of us releasing the balloons... only problem is that he did the video sideways. There may be a way to rotate it, but if there is...I can't figure it out. I opted to put the video on here anyway. Sorry its sideways!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace
Just thinking how much things have changed in one year...its almost too much to take in. We have lost two children in one year's time. Unbelievable sometimes... doesn't even seem real, but we know it is.
I really didn't know how today would pan out. I do know that I would have loved to be in my hometown Brookhaven today. We couldn't though because we previously thought Taylor had to work today. To go to the church and the cemetary would have been ideal for me.
Luckily, his manager WAS able to give him the day off. I'm sure she had no idea how much she helped me today... Taylor and I were able to spend today together, and that meant so much to me. Otherwise I would have been alone all day today...thanks Ashley.
My Mom and Grandma went to the church this morning and took Kinsey's balloons and some flowers to the cemetery. Of course GrayMan got some balloons too. Thank you Mom and Grandma...and thanks Wanda for letting them use your camera. Hopefully I will have pictures soon of what they did for us all.
One thought that made me smile today was that they are together today. No matter how much I miss them and want them back here with us, I am comforted by the fact that they are together...and most of all with God.
Taylor and I stayed busy most of the day. We got so many great plants at Gray's service...and we still have many from Kinsey's service too. So...we went shopping for pots. We found some really good ones. We came home and potted the new plants, and repotted some others. I think they all turned out great. Taylor had some ideas about doing some different things to some of the plants, and I think they turned out great. Every time I see any of them, I think of my babies.
I wanted to post a few pictures of the plants, but my internet is terrible...Hughes Net. Horrible.
Maybe I can get them posted on here tomorrow.
We did have a little private Birthday for Kinsey here at home. Taylor and I got some pink Happy Birthday balloons. We attached them to one of Gray's monkey balloons...and added the note with the monkey on it. It also had a card I made for Kinsey's Birthday. Then we went in the backyard by Kinsey's tree...and let them go. It had rained all day, but stopped and began to be a pretty day. The balloons started off a little slow, but then really took off. They climbed so high that I lost sight of them.
Today was spent with Kinsey on my mind constantly, I miss her so much. While we were out I saw many reminders. Ladybugs (and butterflies) were everywhere... from the Flower pot that we found for the nursery, to the Ladybug stake that we came across for one of the plants. While in one store today I saw a baby being pushed in a grocery cart. A little red headed baby girl, I couldn't help but tear up. Reminders are everywhere everyday...especially today.
I know that Kinsey and Grayson are together today...and for that I am grateful. One day we will spend their Birthdays together...as a family.
Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace. We love you and miss you every second of every day....and we always will.
Godspeed.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Dallas, Friends, Food, Gray Man & Kinsey
We went to just see friends and try to relax. We lived in Dallas for around 3 years, and still miss alot of things there. Especially the people and the FOOD.
We wanted to just get away, not that we even attempted to "get away" from our thoughts and memories...I never want to get away from those. But it was nice to see good friends and go to our favorite Dallas restaurants. Mainly Cuba Libre and La Hacienda Ranch.
We were able to see a few different friends. There are some that I want to thank...
Kenny, you are always great... we always feel very welcome at your Bed & Breakfast, Macey loved it there too. She said she misses running up and down the stairs. Hope you liked the cheesecake.
Julie, Brian, Lacy, Keith, Lauren etc... it was great to see all of you, and we had a good time playing shuffleboard.
Laurie, thank you for breakfast...and I had a great time just getting to hang out with you for breakfast Saturday morning. I miss seeing you.
Ryan and Emily... we had such a good time Saturday night. The surprise massages were amazing, and definitely a surprise. Playing Rook was really fun, even though the guys won the last round.
Dallas will always hold a special place in our hearts... even though we still hate the traffic.
We did some shopping, and I won't go into detail...but we bought a few gifts while we were there.
We also were able to let some balloons go for Grayson and Kinsey. We had a monkey balloon attached to some other colored balloons. We let them go at Kenny's place. They had the monkey on them from the Barrel of Monkeys...and the same card that was on the balloons we let go at Gray's service. It was a windy day...and they took off! They actually went so far up that we totally lost sight of them. Will we ever hear from any of them? Who knows, but we love letting those balloons go. I will attach some pictures and hopefully a video later.
We came back home yesterday, and its good to be back home. Like I said before, there are things here that I see and still cause me to become upset...but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I will always have those wonderful memories. I would give anything to have Gray and Kinsey back, but I know its not possible. I just have to take it one day at a time...and just keep breathing. With God's help, I hope to survive.
I definitely don't fear death anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to leave... but when the time comes, I will get to hold my children again. To meet God, and to see GrayMan and Kinsey.... there will be NOTHING greater than that.
Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow is Kinsey's 1st Birthday. July 28, 2009. Not the way I wanted it to be, but Taylor and I will do something special for her together. She also has Gray with her now, and I know that they will be together tomorrow and for all eternity. For that I am thankful...and blessed. Thanks be to God.
Godspeed.


