Sunday, November 15, 2009


It's been too long since my last post... I have no excuses really, just have been trying to take things a day at a time and have been pretty poor at updating.
Sometimes it takes so much out of me to post something... I need to try to do better, so I will start that now. The last post I had was about Infant & Pregnancy Remembrance Day. I have a good story about that. I worked that day, and I usually don't get home from work until around 8pm. (Yuk, I know... but at least I'm off night shift). I got home and Taylor was already there and had lit 2 candles for us.
It got to be later in the night, and I was taking Macey out to potty before going to bed...and as I walked out of the front door to take her out, I saw 2 candles. They were lit and sitting on the front porch. Very very sweet of someone to do this... although Taylor joked that our house could have burned down had we not seen them! Not really, they were in a safe spot and in glass jars.
I have asked around to a few people, and I have had no confessions. I have a pretty good feeling it was someone in our neighborhood (we have a gated neighborhood), because they would have had to come in the gate.
Thank you to whoever put the candles out front. It was such a sweet thing to do, and Taylor and I both were very touched.
It's November already, and alot has happened since Oct 15th. I had another birthday on November 5th. I will refrain on the age I turned.... its just not Southern for a lady to tell her age. My plan is just to NEVER look my age.
Also, one of my best friends in this world had a baby boy. He is healthy and normal and alive...and for that I am so thankful. Congratulations Sara & Wade. ( )
I was very stressed about him being born, whether Sara realized it or not. I hope to be able to meet him sometime soon. We also have some really good friends here in Little Rock who were blessed enough to have a healthy baby boy back a few months ago. His name is Owen. Taylor and I have not met him yet, even though they only live about 15 minutes away. I have felt a little guilty about not seeing him yet, but I just wasn't ready. Now that he is a little older, I may be able to meet him. It just would have been too hard right at first... with him being a newborn, would have been way too close to Grayson. Our friends understand, and I am so glad that they do. I guess that's why they are "friends"...because they look after our feelings as well. It has been really hard on me watching everyone else have healthy babies and start their families... I just keep trying to believe that God has a plan for us. I don't know what it is, but I really hope it consists of healthy children to call our own. Whether that be by birth or adoption... I just don't know.
Taylor and I have been having some pretty low key days lately. We have both been working extra... him more than me. He gets more chances at it to be fair, and he has taken advantage of it. I have worked a few extra myself, and have just really been staying busy.
Football season has really helped us to keep our minds occupied. We are so into football... college and NFL, and Fantasy Football as well. I'm more the pure football fan, while Taylor is a little more into the Fantasy Football thing. We are sitting here watching the Dallas Cowboys play the Green Bay Packers as I type. The Saints won again today... thank God! They gave us a scare though. They don't need to do that again.
This coming weekend we will be going to our first football game of the year. Mississippi State plays Arkansas here in Little Rock Saturday. We will be tailgating and then going to the game... and I will be one the only State fans going. There will be another couple of State fans... but I will definitely be outnumbered. We played horrible against Alabama yesterday... so I HOPE that we come back and take Arkansas out this Saturday! I will have the cowbell ready.
I am off to clean my truck for while its still pretty outside. I want to have it ready for tailgating.
p.s. I have something new for the blog coming up soon thanks to a friend... I'll let you know when it happens.
Until next post...


boltefamily said...

Praying for you!

Mindy said...

So glad to read a post from you. I've been wondering abotu you guys. Praying for you.

Brookeanne said...

It's wonderful to see a post from you! I'm so glad that your friends have been so loving and understanding! You are so deserving, and in my prayers constantly!

Christen Farmer said...

Glad u posted. I check it from time to time to see how ur doing. Just wanted to let u know in case u may be interested that the national bereaved parents meeting next year will be in little rock. Visit for more info. Think of u often and ur in our prayers.

natalie said...


My heart understands the pain you feel about newborn babies. We're struggling with infertility and I have the hardest time attending baby showers and visiting babies in the hospital. I'm at a point now where holding infants is very painful. I generally just avoid the situation if at all possible.

I'm praying for you often.

In Him,

The Wandering Brain // Tracy Lucas said...

Thinking of you guys on Thanksgiving, as always.

I wanted to stop by and let you know that I stopped this morning and prayed for you guys, and thanked God again for Grayson and all he touched.

Have a blessed holiday, and enjoy each other.

Hugs, Tracy

Shannon Ryan said...

thank you for the update. you atr in my thoughts often.

Carrie Gray said...

I love your new page, it's beautiful! I'm so glad I ventured over here today, it was a nice surpirse to see you posted. I wanted to drop by and tell you I thought of you over the holidays, I know they must be so hard for you. I was really touched by whoever put the two candles on your porch, I'm still teary thinkiong about the thoughtfulness. I think of you and Taylor often. I wondered if you went to the game in Little Rock.

Anonymous said...

Love the new look of the site; still enjoying your music
Take Care
Sending Hugs and Prayers

Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I just wanted to let you know that I think of you both often. I can't imagine what you have been through and how much hurt it still must cause everyday. I believe in my heart that God has a plan for you, as he does for us all. It is so clear that you have a lot of love to give and I pray that God will bless you in His way, in His time. How awesome that you are still grateful and that you have eachother to lean on. I hope for peace for you and hope you have a very Merry Christmas surrounded by those you love.

our family said...

Thinking of you both and praying for you during this holiday season. May God grant you comfort and peace as you miss your sweet babies and hope and faith as you decide what He has in store for your family.
Hugs and PRayers

Brookeanne said...

Thought I would hop over, even though my list didn't show an update... and what a beautiful suprise! Your page looks so special and personalized! Did Shae do that for you? Either way it looks fantastic! Hope to see an update when you feel up to it. Take care!

RN and OSHP said...

Was thinking about you all and thought I would tell you I am still praying for your family! I think of your little monkey whenever I am out shopping and see a Baby monkey blanket or clothes or what have you. Hope you had as good a holiday as possible and that you have a blessed new year!

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I came across your blog, I was searching for something completely off the subject and your blog opened up. I had just laid my girls to bed and I started to read. I read your current blog update and made my way to the beginning. I am not sure why I felt compelled to leave a comment but I left and came back several times because I want you to know that although you don't know me nor I you, I prayed for you both. I cried for the loss of your babies, I cried for the pain you are going through. You showed so much love to your babies in the short time they were here. They were extremely blessed to be born to you both and I am humbled and touched beyond words that you shared the most precious days of your life with us. Thank you for reminding me to be blessed everyday no matter what the day brings.

Brookeanne said...

Hi Kristi,

I know you're not on here much, but hopefully you'll see this. I really have wanted to send you something for quite a while and came across this website.
Please let me know if this is of interest. Feel free to e-mail me directly if that would be more comfortable

All the best,

James Patrick said...

I know you dont post much but I just thought about your family today and wanted to let you know i am praying for you today

Anonymous said...

I came upon your page unexpectedly. I just sat and cried for the two of you. I'm so glad that you held both of your babies in your arms. I cannot imagine the pain. I will pray for the two of you.

Lauren said...

Hi Kristi,

I am a longtime follower. Just wanted to stop in and say that I was thinking of your family still and praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

i do not even remember when i found you, but i check in weekly and think of you so often. i hope that you welcomed 2010 with hope...i hope you still have that...i wish there was a way to package it up for you daily to open...thinking and praying for you...

Rogue Mom said...

Your writing is so brave and beautiful. I think of you and your husband often in my prayers. Wishing you the best.

オテモヤン said...


Kelley's Kids said...

Hi there, I came across your blog and have been reading it. We also lost a "Grayson", our son to SIDS. You have beautiful babies, I'm sure playing with our Grayson.
Thank you for sharing, you are in my thoughts and prayers - Kelley