Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Shreveport

My plan was to start telling you more about Taylor, Kinsey and myself...but that just didn't happen today. For one thing my computer was SO SLOW all day (Don't EVER get satellite internet, it costs too much and its basically just TERRIBLE)..so I just never really got a chance to get on the computer. But also I never got started because today I just basically didn't feel like it. Some days are better than others, and I guess thats normal in this situation....but nothing feels normal. Today was just a bad day for emotions. One of the days where I just wanted to scream and cry all day...but I made it through the day without losing it. I can't say that I didn't cry ( there hasn't been a day yet that I haven't cried), but I managed to make it through the day without just holeing up in my bedroom and crying myself senseless.
Im sure my parents being here helped, because Taylor and I are apart right now...so they have been a big help to me, just being here.
Im lying in bed right now because I can't sleep, so I figured I would tell about the next two days. Taylor is in Shreveport and has been since Sunday night. The lady that he calls his "Mom" passed away on Monday the 25th. and as I sit here and type this I just realized that Mrs. Mona passed away exactly 4 weeks after Kinsey...also on a Monday, and at almost the same time of day....6:30ish. How strange is that. Everyone in her family, and also Taylor said that she is up there in Heaven right now holding Kinsey and looking after her. I'm jealous of that.
She was in a bad car accident about a week after Kinsey's left us, and was critically injured. Taylor wanted and needed to be there for her and for her family...and to help them with medical questions as well.
One of Taylor's oldest and best friends is Kim, Mrs. Mona is Kim's mother... and I credit Mrs. Mona with helping to keep Taylor sane and on the right path in his teenage years. She took him in and became a mother to him when he needed her. It takes a special woman to take in a teenage boy! but she did, and he (and I) will always be grateful to her and her family.
My parents and I are leaving tomorrow for Shreveport to be there for Mrs. Mona's Memorial service on Friday...and to be there with Taylor.
After the services we will be headed back to Little Rock...so I ask you for prayers for a safe trip for us to and from Shreveport, and also for prayer for Mrs. Mona's family and friends. Please also continue to keep us in your prayers as well. We have lost a daughter, and now my husband has lost his "Mom".....
I know God dosen't give us a cross that we can't bear....but it sure feels like it sometimes.
Thank you all for your comments and emails today....they mean more that you know right now, and help to keep me going.
I'm going to try to get some sleep now, goodnight to you all...and goodnight Kinsey and Mrs. Mona. Hug and squeeze her tight for me.
Love,
Kristi

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Kinsey Grace Thompson July 28th, 2008

Two different friends sent me a link to a blog about a Mother who lost her daughter.
that is how I got the idea to start my own blog about my daughter....never would I have imagined that I would be in this position. I wanted to write this blog to talk to family and friends, to let them know what has happened with Taylor, Kinsey and myself.
Its easier to type the words than to speak them....this is the time in life when you can't seem to talk without crying. So I will type, and let those that don't know what has happened recently to our family know the details.....and this way I only have to type it once.
Taylor and I, as most of you know....were expecting a baby girl. On July 28th, 2008 at 7:15 in the morning my water broke....and then at 6:35 PM, our hearts broke. The beautiful red headed baby girl that was exactly what we had wished for, did not survive.
Our daughter, Kinsey Grace was born at 6:30 PM. Even though we wanted and loved her so much, she was not able to be with us the way we had planned. Kinsey was born, but never was able to take a breath. She never had a heartrate after they cut the cord. There are no words to explain how we felt and still feel.
I had a normal, basically uneventful pregnancy. Nothing that could have hinted that this would happen. Kinsey's death was a complete and utter shock to Taylor and I, and still at times it dosen't seem real.
In this blog I would like to tell you our story, although tonight I am tired and just doing good to start everything. There is so much to tell, and to share.... and I would like to also have this place to ask for help from all of you for our future. To try again, and to have your prayers and support with us. Kinsey is in the best place that there is....with Our Father in Heaven, I have to take comfort in that because that is the only way I have been able to survive this past 4 weeks. I know without a doubt that the daughter Taylor and I created is now our Guardian Angel in Heaven, and looking over me even as I type. She would want a sister or brother, and God willing with the help a great Doctor and Nurse Practioner she will have that.
I will start back as soon as I am able, we have so much going on in our lives right now.....I will tell you about it all in time. For now, your prayers are needed and appreciated.

I want to leave this post by posting the lyrics to a song that has meant so much to me the last few weeks, its also in the playlist here on the blog.
This song was introduced to me by a friend at work that has had to deal with a similar situation. I thank her for that, and for her friendship when I need it most. Thanks Julie.
Its Glory Baby by Watermark, we actually played it at Kinsey's services and I wanted to share it with you.

Glory Baby....by Watermark
Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s aday when we will hold you We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard tounderstand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…
BRIDGE: I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabiesand what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…
all you’ll ever know…

Goodnight to you all, and Goodnight Kinsey.
Love,
Kristi

P.S. There is a comment section here on the blog...I invite you all to leave a comment. The first comment left here is from Taylor, I think its fitting that Kinsey's Daddy was the first to leave a message.
Just click on the word "comments" at the bottom of the post. Its small and you really don't notice it, but I would love any comments you may have.
You can also read any comments that have been left by other people.