Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Life, Football and Getting Away

I I have been back at work for 3 weeks now, things have been going okay. It has been pretty busy at times, but it keeps my mind from wandering.

We haven't really done alot lately either, just work and hang out at home on the weekends. We have had Taylor's Uncle Greg visit a few times. He works all over the place and travel I-30 on the way from Texas to Mississippi and stops to stay the night sometimes. It has been good for Taylor to have him around, and he always seems to make me laugh. He is the same Uncle who gave me the James Avery charms that I wear all the time. The ones with Kinsey and Grayson's names engraved on the back of them. They wear the same charms as well, which is such a good thought for me.
I got to show off my new coffee maker to him. Taylor bought me a Keurig Coffee maker as a surprise, and for anyone who isn't sure what this is... look it up. It is one of the best gifts he has given me ( aside from Gray and Kinsey that is). It makes a cup in about 30 seconds, and is so convenient. Greg was so taken with it, I believe he is about to buy one as well.

Thursday we will be headed to Hattiesburg, MS to visit with family. My Aunt Judy (my Daddy's sister) lives there with all of her family, and we have been looking forward to this trip. A trip to Conastoga Steak House will be involved (and NO that's not on the Nutrisystem Plan...I'll have to splurge just a little), as well as Golf & Football.
Taylor will be playing golf with my Uncle and cousin... they are all crazy competitive, so if they all make it home without getting into a fist fight they will be doing good! They will have a good time I'm sure. I'm sure we will all get to hang out and watch football together, and Taylor gets to go to the Saints opening day game with my cousin Chad. For all of you who know me personally...you know how big a deal this is for me to pass up seeing the Saints play so that Taylor can go. That's true love. He had better appreciate it! Chad only has one extra ticket. He has season tickets in the End Zone...right down on the field. I'm jealous.
We will get to stay there with them until Monday, and then head back to Arkansas. My parents will be there for a day or two as well, so it will be good to see everybody.

Not much else happening in our lives right now. We have just been working, trying to save money again... and I have still been on the "diet". It's hard to have willpower when you have eaten anything you wanted for 2 years! I think I have lost about 7 lbs so far, and I am sticking with it. The Nutrisystem thing has gone well so far. A few meals have been good, a few have been bad..but I'm managing. At least I have weeded out the bad meals now, and will only have to order the ones I know I like. I just need to start exercising now. At least the weather is at the point now where it is starting to be nice.
Good Southern Football Weather.
And speaking of Football, thank God its finally back. It's my favorite time of year.

We had our Family Fantasy Football League Draft on Labor Day, it should be an interesting year. This is the most teams we have ever had, 14. I even got a new friend to join this year. Nicole, she is Elias' Mom...and she is from CT. Elias had Trisomy 18 as well, and was born just a few weeks before Grayson. We like to think that they are friends up there. It has been good to talk to someone else who is going through something similar, but it sure is a bad way to meet.
Gray and Elias will be keeping up with our teams I'm sure.

Things have been hard on me lately, so football is at least it is a good outlet for me. I have had a hard time lately, the realization of it all. That things are back to just the two of us again, without our little man or Kinsey. It's so surreal. I can't explain it to anyone that hasn't been through this... it's a feeling I can't even explain. Maybe empty is a good word for it, but that wouldn't even begin to explain. I just keep getting up in the morning, and keep getting dressed, and keep breathing... I really don't know any other way to deal with things. Losing two babies had changed me for certain, I'm not the same person anymore. Oh, don't get me wrong... I'm not totally different, but there is definitely a difference between the Kristi of now and the one from pre July 2008. So for now, I will just keep going and keep praying...
Saying all this actually just reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite movies. Do you remember which movie this was from?

"Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while."

I think I will always think about how things used to be, I just hope that one day the thoughts get less painful.

One last thing before I end this post...
The most interesting thing that happened to us over the weekend had to do with this picture.

Taylor found this in our Laundry basket in our master bathroom this weekend. I don't see how it didn't bite him! Yes, I said in our laundry basket which is in our bathroom...which is connected to our bedroom! I have no idea how it got there. I just know that it was MEAN. I also know now that it was a Rat Snake, which is not poisonous... but we didn't know that at the time.
We managed to trap it with a garden hoe and a shovel and drop it in this bucket. It was quite an experience.
I'm still a little freaked out! I went through the whole bathroom and bedroom with a flashlight and a hoe! I REALLY hope that's the last snake I see INSIDE my house. Outside, I can deal with it.. but not inside.
I'm sure our babies got a kick out of that one, watching us catch a snake in the bathroom...


Heather said...

I totally know where that quote is from...one of my favorite movies "Sleepless in Seattle." I thought of that line often when I was recovering from my 8 miscarriages. It's what you have to do sometimes, and it does get easier, but you are changed forever.
Still praying for you guys.

Carrie Gray said...

I like the quote, had no idea where it came from but I see now on your comments, seems very fitting. Just wanted to let you know I think about you and Taylor, and Kinsey and Gray too. I'm sure Gray and Elias are on the same team up there and have a little red-headed chearleader cheer them on! Saw the picture of the snake on fb and showed my dad and Mike they were impressed. I'd have passed out! Thank goodness it was YOUR laundry day!

Anonymous said...

A perfect quote...and I guessed right..."Sleepless in Seattle."

There are not enough words...the grief is way too big...but keep them coming...they help us all in so many ways that you'll never know...but most importantly, I hope they help you and Taylor.

Love you, my friend.


Stacy said...

I continue to pray for you and Taylor. God WILL see you through these difficult times and you WILL feel his light shine on you once again.

God Bless.

Mary Ellen said...

I cant tell you how many time I have quoted that quote! Praying for you and your hubby

Brookeanne said...

BLECH! I would have had a conniption, if I had seen that thing in my house! You are a brave woman to take a picture, I would have probably squished it in a fit of hysteria!

I hope you have a fantastic trip and I'm glad that you will have the excitement of football this season. Taylor is a lucky man to have a wife who enjoys sports and is willing to relingquish seats to a beloved game:).

Although I never got a chance to "meet" you prior to July 2008, I do hope you will feel a level of normalcy and contentment in your life again soon. You and your husband deserve the utmost boundless joy.

P.S. Do you still have Gray-mans P.O. Box open?

Victoria said...

Dear Kristi,
I have recently been reading at a website entitled, www.iamviable.com Today I read the story of Nancy Guthrie which is so similar to yours. Most likely you have already discovered this, but just in case you hadn't, I wanted to pass it along to you.

Sherry said...

Kristi, Know that even I think about you and pray for you and Taylor regularly. I'm glad that I know you through Sara. I have found that just knowing other people care (even random ones like me) has really helped me in my situation. Not that it is in any way like yours. Just keep posting and being who you are right now. And now that God is with you.

Tricia said...

The snake would have freaked me out as well. I looked at the picture and thought, "She needs a new laundry hamper. Her clothes must be filthy to cause that much crud in the bottom." I then read that it was the bucket. Phew!

I'm glad your favorite time of year is here. Eric would love for me to have such a love for football. I'll try, but it isn't likely to happen.

Nana said...

I just wanted to check in on ya'll. I am Libby Case Young's mother. I pray for you and Taylor every day. Your faithfulness to God in this most trying time, not once, but twice, has truly touched my heart. What a witness you are....what a testimony you have. God has a plan for you and Taylor and I, along with thousands more, anxiously wait, with ya'll, to see it revealed. I will continue to pray for strength, comfort, love and blessings. Love In Christ

Anonymous said...

I have had you on my mind often. I pray for you daily. And by the way I thought snakes getting in houses only happened in Bogue Chitto! Ha! Should have reminded you of home. Miss you! Hope you visit Johnson Grove soon.


Stephanie said...

I just stumbled upon your blog and read it all in one afternoon. I don't know what coincidence brought me to it but all I can say is you are incredible people, to lose so much and keep going.

I am very lucky that my son (who will turn 4 this summer) is healthy and that his little sister (due in August) seems to be as well. My brother wasn't as lucky and his little girl has issues, some similar to Grayson's (saturation problems, holes in her heart) but we're lucky she's still with us.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know you have touched my life as you have so many others I'm sure. I hope life has some great gifts in store for you as you deserve them :)