Thursday, August 20, 2009

My last week off

Its been a busy day for me... Nothing major, just work here at the house. This is my last week off work. I will have taken off 7 weeks. It's hard to believe it has been that long since I had GrayMan. It seems like yesterday. I miss him just as much as the day he left us to go Home to Christ. We still haven't been able to put up all of GrayMan's things. I have put some of his things in their room, but there are still some things in the bedroom and living room. I just can't put them up yet. We still have the "Pack & Play" in the corner of the living room. Its just is comforting in some way.

Taylor has been working alot the past couple of weeks, overtime hours. We needed the money, and the hours were he sucked it up and did it. I hate that he has worked so much lately...but I love him for it too. He always gives me a hard time when he has worked overtime. He likes to say he is "providing" for this family... He always makes me laugh when he says that. Tonight he is beat. He goes in early tomorrow...and then off the weekend.

We are making a short trip to Dallas this weekend. He is in another Fantasy Football league (I'm not in this one) and they are having a live draft that he wants to go to. SO.... that means we leave after he gets off work tomorrow.

While he is doing the draft, I plan on having a day out with my friends Kenny and Sallie Ann. I'm sure that there will be some Mexican food in that equation somewhere. I'm looking forward to hanging out with them again. They always are able to put me in a better mood.

After that, I'm sure that there will be dinner at Cuba Libre Saturday night... that place is soooo good. This weekend will also be the end of my eating binges... I start my diet on Monday. Not looking forward to it.

We will have to come back early on Sunday, so it will be a really short trip... we won't get to see hardly anyone we are friends with while we are there because of me having to come back and start work on Monday.

I can't say that I am "ready" to go back to work... but I don't know if you are ever "ready". I do know that I am glad to be going back to work where I am employed now. It would be harder to go back to work knowing that I had to take care of a child in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I gave that 12 years of my life...and I am just fine working at a no direct patient care nursing job right now. I miss the people I worked with, but I know that they are all happy that I'm doing something else thats good for me. I am also blessed enough to work with another amazing group of people. The nurses I am working with have been so great and so supportive of us.

It's quite ironic that the group I work for now are appropriately named "ANGELS".

Taylor and I have a couple that we are good friends with here in Little Rock. Ryan and Amber. They went home from the hospital today with a healthy baby boy. I am SO thankful that their new baby is normal and healthy, I prayed he would be. At the same time it is bittersweet...its so hard to deal with all of the emotions. Taylor and I are happy for them, and will hopefully be seeing them sometime soon. It will just take us some time. I know that our friends understand that this is hard on us. It just really beings up alot of emotions. It makes us miss Gray and Kinsey even more. Even talking about them going home with the baby today made me cry.
I know that Kinsey and Grayson will be watching over their new baby boy... and they want us to meet him. Like I said before, it will just take some time.

I am headed back into the laundry room to finish up things for the Dallas trip. Even a short weekend trip can be such a beating having to pack. Of course we have to pack things for Macey too. She is looking forward to seeing her "Uncle Kenny" again!

P.S. I don't know how I almost forgot to mention this....
Taylor was at work yesterday in the hospital and felt something on his arm. He looked down and kind of flinched because he didn't know what it was. Guess what it was... A LADYBUG. Yep, a ladybug inside the hospital. And it landed on him. What are the odds of that??
We know who it was saying "hello".



Mindy said...

Have a safe, fun trip. You guys are in my prayers.

mrosev14 said...

I think going back to work will be good, at least it'll be distracting if nothing else. I had no idea you were a nurse (not sure how I really expected to know that though), I am currently finishing up my last year of nursing school. I plan on going into Pediatric Hem/Onc and then onto PICU about a year into my training. I am so excited for peds! I can completely understand you missing patient care, but at the same time, I can understand you leaving it.

I hope you guys have an awesome trip this weekend--it looks like Ms. Macey will! Also, you are both so gracious about your friends' new baby boy, he is definitely a blessing but I am not sure I would have been able to not be selfishly sad in a situation as bitterly sweet as that. :)

sagreen125 said...

I hope you have a wonderful time, and God will bless and continue to comfort you. Will pray as you go to work, God will love and comfort you.
And may he continue to carry you guys along as He loves on you as you miss your babies.

Shannon Ryan said...

Wow, another ladybug encounter... that is just so cool! I'm sorry you have to return to work already.. it does seem so soon, but perhaps a good distraction, as someone else said. I totally understand about not being ready to see your friends baby yet.. while being so happy that he's here and safe.. bittersweet because your babies aren't. Have a nice weekend in TX.

Manda said...

I check your blog constantly, dear internet stranger friend. You are always in my thoughts in prayers.

Manda from MN,

Anonymous said...

I love your posting. My cousins baby boy Cooper just passed on Saturday he was only a day old. All Mother that have lost a child have a Special place in my heart. I pray for you daily. You may know our cousin Jason and Kristi Frazier, they are from Enterprise. I hope you have a great trip.

My Very Own Angel said...

Have an awesome trip. Going back to work may do some good.
thinking of you

Kristy said...

you are a strong person....just read lots of your posts...two beautiful angels you have:)

Brookeanne said...

Thinking of you and wondering how your first week went!

All my best to you and your husband! :)

Anonymous said...

I just got done ready your amazimg journey. I am so thankfull you shared your two beautiful angels. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
one greiving mother to another.

Shane and Ashley Bray said...

I just read your special journey with Kinsey & Gray Man. I'm going through the journey as well. Aiden is due Dec. 7 and has been diagnosed with Trisomy 18.
Please know that you are in my prayers!

M. Congleton said...

the ladybug story made me smile...God is good.

Anonymous said...

Hope your transition back to work has been all right!
Thinking of you