Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace

Today has been an emotional day for me. It wasn't the way I had envisioned...we were supposed to have been watching Kinsey destroy her Birthday cake today. We had hoped to be throwing a Ladybug Birthday Party, but Taylor and I know more then anyone...things don't always happen the way you had hoped.
Just thinking how much things have changed in one year...its almost too much to take in. We have lost two children in one year's time. Unbelievable sometimes... doesn't even seem real, but we know it is.

I really didn't know how today would pan out. I do know that I would have loved to be in my hometown Brookhaven today. We couldn't though because we previously thought Taylor had to work today. To go to the church and the cemetary would have been ideal for me.

Luckily, his manager WAS able to give him the day off. I'm sure she had no idea how much she helped me today... Taylor and I were able to spend today together, and that meant so much to me. Otherwise I would have been alone all day today...thanks Ashley.

My Mom and Grandma went to the church this morning and took Kinsey's balloons and some flowers to the cemetery. Of course GrayMan got some balloons too. Thank you Mom and Grandma...and thanks Wanda for letting them use your camera. Hopefully I will have pictures soon of what they did for us all.
One thought that made me smile today was that they are together today. No matter how much I miss them and want them back here with us, I am comforted by the fact that they are together...and most of all with God.

Taylor and I stayed busy most of the day. We got so many great plants at Gray's service...and we still have many from Kinsey's service too. So...we went shopping for pots. We found some really good ones. We came home and potted the new plants, and repotted some others. I think they all turned out great. Taylor had some ideas about doing some different things to some of the plants, and I think they turned out great. Every time I see any of them, I think of my babies.

I wanted to post a few pictures of the plants, but my internet is terrible...Hughes Net. Horrible.
Maybe I can get them posted on here tomorrow.

We did have a little private Birthday for Kinsey here at home. Taylor and I got some pink Happy Birthday balloons. We attached them to one of Gray's monkey balloons...and added the note with the monkey on it. It also had a card I made for Kinsey's Birthday. Then we went in the backyard by Kinsey's tree...and let them go. It had rained all day, but stopped and began to be a pretty day. The balloons started off a little slow, but then really took off. They climbed so high that I lost sight of them.

Today was spent with Kinsey on my mind constantly, I miss her so much. While we were out I saw many reminders. Ladybugs (and butterflies) were everywhere... from the Flower pot that we found for the nursery, to the Ladybug stake that we came across for one of the plants. While in one store today I saw a baby being pushed in a grocery cart. A little red headed baby girl, I couldn't help but tear up. Reminders are everywhere everyday...especially today.

I know that Kinsey and Grayson are together today...and for that I am grateful. One day we will spend their Birthdays together...as a family.

Happy Birthday Kinsey Grace. We love you and miss you every second of every day....and we always will.

Godspeed.

19 comments:

Kristi J said...

Sending birthday wishes up to sweet Kinsey, and my prayers are with you for a peaceful day filled with precious memories and a joyful heart for the two beautiful angel babies you have watching over you. With love and prayers to you both, and remembering both of your children always.

Mrs. Mother said...

I know today must have been so hard for you. Since we lost Jenna last year, I often see signs of her everywhere. We had a poem about dragonflies read at her service. I see them often now and know she is with us.

In fact, the day of her service, we went out to the cemetery where my beloved granny is buried. We saw two dragonflies flitting about, almost as though they were playing with each other. I've thought since that day it was my granny and Jenna telling us they were together and were going to be fine.

Big hugs, and I am still holding you in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

God fill your Cup and let it flow over. I think of your family often and pray when I do. I know that the day you hear "Well done good and faithful servant" Will be the happiest day in your Life God Bless your family . Happy Birthday Kinsey
The Beard Family
Luke AFB AZ

Heather said...

Happy Birthday, Kinsey. Praying for great peace for you & Taylor.

Maddy said...

im sorry about that

Shannon Ryan said...

I'm glad Taylor was able to have the day off so you two could be together on Kinsey's birthday. Dresden's 1st bday is coming up September 9th, and being without my husband that day would not be ideal. Esp. after everything you have been through, being together is so important.

Cheryl said...

I can't imagine how hard this is for you and Taylor. My family is still praying for you and your family in IL.

Cheryl

Mandy said...

You are such a strong and beautiful woman. I admire you and really enjoy reading your blog. I have been thinking of your family and praying for yall lately. Happy Birthday to sweet baby Kinsey. She is celebrating with Jesus today! God Bless You and your family.
Mandy

Christen said...

Happy Birthday Kinsey!!! My prayers are with you all. We let balloons go monday night at our meeting for our lost children. Anytime i see a balloon alone somewhere, we now stop and pick it up to see if maybe it has a note attatched. I know what it would mean to hear that it was found in another county or even sometimes in another state. Godbless and Godspeed.

Mary Ellen said...

Happy Heavenly Birthday sweet Kinsey Grace. I am praying for your mommy and daddy today! I hope that my sweet baby daughter Grace is up in heaven giving you a great big Birthday hug!!

Sarah Bussey said...

I am so glad you and Taylor got to spend the day together to celebrate Kinsey's birthday. My Taylor and I are praying for you guys.

Mindy said...

Happy Birthday to your precious angel. I am praying for you.

Mommies-Miracles said...

My prayers are with you and your family, happy birthday Kinsey..

Tracy L said...

Happy birthday, Kinsey. Your mother clearly loves you more than she could ever tell you, and she's letting all of us know how special you are. Thinking of you and wishing you ladybug angels.

Colleen said...

Happy belated 1st Birthday Kinsey!


I know how difficult birthdays can be. In April I survived #19 without my precious Melissa. I can tell you that the pain lessens over time but then there are still days that can bring me to my knees now. You will get through this. Just be patient with yourselves, each other, and the world. Only parents who have also suffered the death of a baby can truly understand your grief. Reach out to those people whenever you can.

Trennia said...

Just thought I would let you know you have a award on my blog.

Vicki said...

I recently found your blog and I feel that I must say this:

You and your husband are REMARKABLE and EXTRAORDINARY people. I don't say this often. (Hmmmm...maybe I've never said it)

Other than that, there are no words to be said. I am just sending a cyber hug to two people who have experienced unspeakable grief yet are still standing.

Vicki in Tennessee

SarahMerritt said...

I want to give your blog an award. come on over to my blog to get it! I have been so moved by your story and pray for you often!
Sarah

MIMI said...

I haven't been able to write anything about our sweet Grayman. It's been the hardest thing and the worse thing that me and your dad had ever endured.We are so proud of you and Taylor for being the people that you are.Ya'll aretwo of the strongest young people that I have ever been around.Kristi we are so proud of you for being the best mom that I have ever seen.To be able to do what you and Taylor did for our little man what truly a miracle. You took such wonderful care of Grayson. You showed all of us what love is truly about. We were so happy to get to hold him and of course Mimi got to rock and get kisses.Ya'll are our hearts and we love you both so very much.I pray that the good Lord will bless you with the family that you want so much.I just have to believe that what you have been through the last two years will one day have a purpose for us all.I PRAY THAT WE WILL ALL GET TO BE WITH OUR TWO LITTLE ANGELS ONE DAY. WE LOVE YOU BOTH ALWAYS. Love, Mom and Daddy P>S> Taylor I thank you so much for taking such good care of my sweet girl. We are so proud of you too. Thanks for taking such good care of Grayman and having all of his specials birthday parties. We love you so much. LOVE, M & T