Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It's 12:08. We miss you Grayson.

I sure wish we were celebrating another birthday for Gray. It's tough trying to plan his services, but it has to be done. We sure want it to be more of a celebration of life than a "funeral". Crystal overnighted all of the pictures she took at the hospital. My estimate of how many pictures we have was a bit low. Crystal took almost 600 pictures! One of our projects today is to go through them and decide which ones we want for Gray man's service.

Although we knew that Grayson's chances of being with us for a while were slim, it's been very hard on both Kristi and I. Today would make 1 week old. The process for me has been blunted somewhat because of all the support and prayers. It's been extremely therapeutic to type and keep everyone updated through Kinsey's blog. I can reach hundreds of people without having to explain things over and over. We get immediate feedback from all of "your" wonderful comments. Thanks to everyone for all the support. We are surrounded by family again... I guess I should say we continue to be surrounded. We were only alone when we asked to be.

The details of Little Man's services are still being finalized. We have decided not to have a "private" service for those who have asked. Visitation will more than likely be Friday from 5pm to 7pm at Riverwood Family Funeral Service in Brookhaven Mississippi. The funeral will be on Saturday; possibly in the afternoon. If Kristi's family church; Johnson Grove Church of Christ, is available that afternoon we hope to have his service there. The cemetery is next door to the church. Grayson will be buried next to Kinsey with a spot on either side of them when our time comes.

We love you Grayson and Kinsey.

60 comments:

Robbie Eilert said...

I have never met either one of you. But I linked to your blog from "Waiting for Happy", and I feel as though I know each of you now. Every day since Grayson was born, I have thought of Grayson at 12:08. I watched the video of the party, and all the monkeys. I feel like I have felt every emotion that you guys have felt, right along with you. I have a friend that had a son pass away after only 55 days a few years ago. I told her on her blog once, that it seemed like all she needed was a magic wand to make all the bad feelings and sadness disappear. I firmly believe that our Magic wand is Christ. He waves it through prayer, and I am just one person, but after reading your blog, I can't imagine that you don't have a lot of people in the world, waving a lot of magic wands just for you guys.

Anonymous said...

Taylor & Bizkit,
Please know that you truly are an inspiration to me. Your faith is so strong and you are teaching us lessons everyday. Please know that you have touched so many lives and especially Kinsey and Grayson have. I hope to see you guys this weekend. If we can do anything to help please let us know. Taylor you have done a wonderful job keeping up with the blog. I appreciate you doing it for us.
We love yall,
Shania Phelan

Darlene G Stewart said...

Still thinking of yall and praying that you find some kind of peace at a time like this. I cannot begin to imagine what this is like for the both of you. We continue to pray for you all. You both are very special people and inspire me daily, if its nothing more than hugging my little one a little tighter every day. I will see yall on Friday. I will continue to pray for strength and some kind of comfort for you. I never noticed ladybugs, until Kinsey came along, now days I notice ladybugs and monkeys and always smile and think of two very special ANGELS up above. Love yall! P.S. Thank you Taylor for keeping us all updated and allowing us to share your journey.

Cori Lynn said...

Continuing my prayer and support for your family here in Memphis. Both of you are such an inspiration to others on how to be strong and how to be with God even in the face of sadness. Grayson was such a blessing, he is now with Kinsey in heaven and they are holding on to our Heavenly Father as he watches us here on earth. May God's blessing continue to be with you.

The Beach Family

Donna said...

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. May you find comfort in knowing you are being surrounded in prayer by those of us that just don't know what to say, but know that our Father knows what you need and will meet those needs. Thank you for sharing this journey!

HPTeach said...

Though we have never met and I just recently have read your journey, know that there are many, many out there who are sending our love and prayers to you during this time and beyond. Our hearts go out to you.

Mindy said...

I'm just praying for you guys as much as I can. I'm so sorry.

Amanda said...

Life seems so unfair. You two are so amazing, I think - hell, I don't know what I would do. I wish more than anything that life would not have turned out this way for you, and I am only a internet stranger. I cry for you, for your beautiful babies - you have touched me more than you will ever know.
:(
Amanda

Christina said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Both of your babies. God be with you. You are so brave. You will be in my prayers.

Heather said...

Sending up frequent prayers for you both. I lost 8 babies, all in the first trimester, and I can't imagine the loss you must feel. I am so glad to hear that you have so many pictures of him, but I am so sorry that you can't give him any more monkeys. I continue to pray that God's peace surpasses your understanding, and that He brings people across your path that can give you great comfort.
In Him,
Heather
Charleston, SC

Rachel B said...

Kristi and Taylor,
I had a link to your blog from one of my friends blogs and I just looked at it for the second time. Your story is truly amazing and you are so strong and wonderful. I can't imagine the feeling of losing a child, I have 2 little boys and my biggest fear is that something will happen to them. Grayson and Kinsey are so precious and I'm so sorry their lives here with you were short! They are little angels now and I'm sure they're watching over mom and dad. Please keep posting and let everyone know how you are. I will keep praying for your family. P.S. Those pictures from the photographer are PRICELESS, she did an amazing job!
Lots of Love

Colleen said...

I wish no parent ever had to plan the funeral of a child.


Colleen
Louisiana

Louise said...

I've only been following your blog since Grayson was born. I am so very sorry for your lose.May it be a comfort for you to know he is in Heaven and one day you will see them both again. God Bless You Both.

Nicole said...

I'm just a lurker...it's very rare that I'll leave a comment on someone's blog, but I've been following your updates for over a week now and I just wanted to let you know that I am terribly sorry that you're going through this, and that I think of your family every day.

I just wish there was something I could say that could adequately express my feelings and that could make everything okay for you.

Jo said...

Delurking to tell you that I am thinking about you and praying that you are able to have peace. I can't imagine what you are going through but I am so honored that you are sharing your journey with us.

With MUCH love,

Jo

dg darling said...

Praying for you...

Stacy and the gang said...

You do not know me, I've only left comments here for you, merely a stranger. Tho, I am a mom and I know that unconditional love a parent feels for a child. The ache we have to protect them and sustain them. I have come to your blog everyday for a few weeks, hoping and praying that perhaps Grayson would be blessed with some time.. and he was. What a true miracle to be able to spend those days and hours with him. Guiding him into the Lord's arms. Know you have been and will continue to be prayed for. It is powerful!

Anonymous said...

Everyday around 1230, I find myself trying to locate a computer to see Grayson's newest day birthday pics. I loved the updates. We will see you guys this weekend. We continue to pray for your peace.
Love,
Sara & Wade

sherryj1953 said...

Kristi and Taylor,
My prayers have been with you
ever since you lost Kinsey. My heart is breaking for ya'll. But you are such an inspiration to all
who know you. Thanks for keeping
everyone posted on Grayson's life. I feel that I knew him too.
I wish that my prayers would take
your sadness away, but maybe they
will help you in some way. Both
Kinsey and Grayson were precious
angels from God. Please know that
I'll never forget them.
Love Sherry Jordan
(from the Johnson Grove CHurch of Christ)

rsiewert said...

We have been praying for all of you.

A Fun Family said...

Thank you for your continued updates. They are good for you as well as for all of us who care about you. We think of you both constantly throughout our recent days, as we had followed your blog just a few days before Grayson was born. We are so sorry and there really are not perfect words to say, yet we want you to know we care and want to celebrate your children's lives with you.
But this we pray for you, "May you truly feel God's true peace and experience His deep love for you through this most difficult time and for eternity; in many ways, even through the body of Christ, we, your brothers and sisters. Rest in Him alone...'Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you,' 1 Peter 5:7"
With Our Deepest Sympathy and Genuine Concern,
The B Family

Tina said...

I found your blog through a link of a friend and wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.

Sending prayers for the both of your during this difficult time.

Now brother and sister are together in Heaven...

KK said...

Praying for you and so thankful you are surrounded by family and friends. Praying as you make such difficult decisions. Cling to HIM and HE will guide you.
Praying for peace of mind and healing,
Kaye
Psalm 46:10

Shannon Ryan said...

Just sending more hugs and support.

memoirs-of-freja said...

My heart is breaking for you that you have lost both your children. After losing one, I am terrified of losing another. Please know that you and your babies are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Sending lots of prayers and hugs from Oregon (I am just a passer by who stumbled on your sweet Monkey thru Kellys Korner). My prayers will be with you during these next few weeks.. ((HUGS)) Julie Freudenthal

Anonymous said...

Kristi and Taylor ,
I don't know If you remember me but I am Shania's little sister and I married George hennington I am so sorry for your losses but just wanted to let you know what a strong impact you have made on so many peoples lives you are two amazing people and go words can explain how much I am thinking and praying for both of you and your families you made two precious children of God and to know that they are together now in heaven together we are thinking about you through this difficult time in your lives
You both are such an inspiration to so many people may god bless you every night when I go to bed I always say this same thing Dear Lord please give me the strength I need everyday to make It through the day

With much love,
George and Kandi hennington

Shari said...

I have never commented but have been praying for you and your little guy! I pray you can feel the arms of Jesus comforting you during this time.

Margo said...

You don't know me but I have been reading this blog every day. I have been praying for you & for Grayson & my heart is breaking for your loss again. I hope you can find comfort in knowing you will see Grayson & Kinsey again someday. God bless you.
Margo

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your son and daughter with us through your blog... Your family has been in my prayers... I will think of Grayson and the miracle of his 5 days whenever I see a little monkey. May God keep showing your his goodness.. Many prayers are coming your way from Texas...

Laura said...

Your love for eachother as a couple and for your children, Kinsey and Grayson is a testament to who you are as human beings. I so much wish that I could take your hurt away, but that is impossible, so I will just add more love, hoping that in some small way it may help to know that even a family you have never met is hurting with you.

FabTheMayor said...

Thank you for being so brutally honest with us; we continue to lift you up in prayer.

lizzysue said...

You guys, my heart and prayers continue to be with you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for keeping up on the blog at this difficult time. You strengthen us every day with your faith. I wish all of us could take a little of your pain away to make it easier on you. My love to Kinsey and Grayson

Penny said...

I'm so sorry for your loss(es). My heart just breaks every time I read that somebody lost their child. God bless.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Words can't express the sorrow I feel for your family. Know you'll be in my prayers and thoughts. What a blessing to get to spend a few precious days with your baby before he went home to be with our Heavenly Father and his big sister.

Anonymous said...

Since reading your story of Grayson's birth, your family has been on my mind so often. I know the pain of burying a baby girl right after she was born, but I don't pretend to know the pain that you are enduring through having to say "goodbye" too soon to 2 sweet babies. I will pray for you today, and in the days and months ahead... that you will find peace and strength to endure the children that you are missing here on earth but who are watching over you from Heaven and must be so very proud to call you Mom and Dad.
-A Mom in IL who found your blog through Kelly's blog

Trica (Tree' - ka) said...

Praying for you.

The Birds said...

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of Grayson. I am thankful that you got to spend several wonderful days with him. I know that he felt so much love during the time that he was on Earth, but I cannot imagine the LOVE that he is experiencing from our heavenly Father now! Thank you for your inspiring faith. You are continuely in my prayers.

In Christian Love,
Kristy Bird
Maryville, TN

Baby Connor said...

You don't know me but I've been following your blog for a while now and I can't imagine what you are going through, loosing two wonderful babies. You are an amazing couple and I do admire your strength and faith. Many people in your situation would loose hope and their faith in god but yours seems to grow stronger.You are a true inspiration for me and my family!

JSharp said...

Keeping you all in my prayers & sharing your story of faith with fellow Christians here in Little Rock. I work at UAMS & attend services @ Fairview Park church of Christ in WLR, even tho I live in Shannon Hills. All that info about me to say if there is ever anything you two need please don't hesitate to contact me. Even tho we've never met, I would be honored to help you all out in any way that might lift even a small burden from you all.

Stephanie said...

HOw wonderful to have the pictures from his birthday...such a blessing!

Praying for your family tonight and in the days and weeks to come. I can't imagine what you are going through right now but I pray you know that Grayson was loved by many many people!

Anonymous said...

I have been following you rblog since you announced you were expecting Grayson...my heart bleeds for you both. We lost our first daughter 6 years ago this July 4th to a stillbirth and I can not imagine going through what you are living now. Please know that I am praying for you both so much. Kinsey and Grayson are beautiful and are pure reflections of your love.Thank you for sharing them with so many. I pray for your hearts as they break that you would know consolation and peace. I feel such a special connection to you as well because we have always called our Meredith our "ladybug". Our house is decked out in ladybugs and we have a ladybug garden too. I'm sure our girls are showing little Gray all around Heaven.I am carrying you in my heart and prayers. I only wish I could do more...Much love and prayers,Adele in Louisiana

Sara said...

((((((((Kristi and Taylor))))))))

My heart is broken for little Gray and your loss. I know he's in a better place and miss Kinsey is showing him all the cool waiting places, I just wish he'd gotten more time with you guys.

Know we care.

~*Lisa*~ said...

I am so so sorry! Covering you and your family in Pray from Alabama~

Leslie said...

Praying for you both.

Kristi in Colorado said...

Still thinking about you all. You both seem amazingly strong. Continuing to lift you up in prayer.

~Kristi in Colorado

Emily said...

I am praying for you tonight and will continue to you as you wade through the details, the hugs, the numb conversations of the days to come as you make much of your sweet little man. Our daughter lived five days, too. If I had to guess, I would say our sweet Miller Grace and Grayson's own beautiful sister are thrilled with him tonight, there at the feet of our Maker. May He be your comfort and your peace.

stevensfarm said...

I wish I had beautiful words that could bring peace to your hearts. I do not. I have compassion for the babies you have carried, and lost. I most certainly have tears I share with you. I can share with you God's promise for a better tomorrow. I ask for God's Blessings for you both.

Leah said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy. I pray that the Lord will comfort and sustain you in the coming days, weeks and months. I know that this road you travel is all too familiar.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Praying for your comfort,
Leah

Megan said...

I cryed when I read your blog I am so sorry for your losses. Megan

Anonymous said...

Kristi, Today was the first day I've been online in many days. We are taking our family vacation at the beach. I had heard that Grayson was born and knew that you guys had him for the first couple of days but just learned today that he has joined Kinsey in Heaven. I've been thinking about you a lot and praying for you, Taylor, and Grayson.
Much love to you all.
Kacy

purejoy said...

i too am a stranger. i came to you from another blog, as they asked for prayers for you. it seems unbelievable that you should lose two children. a cruel twist of fate how the intricate assembly of chromosomes should result in such a heartbreaking outcome. i'm so thankful for the five days you had together. i'm so thankful that grayson was surrounded by such love and adoration, such a sense of joy and celebration. he was so very loved, this was evident on his precious birthday video.
words seem inadequate to mend broken hearts. especially from a stranger. so at the risk of being like one of Job's friends and saying something stupid, know i am sitting hearby and praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I have never met either of you but I have kept up with you, Kinsey and Grayson through my daughter (Jennifer Harper) and through your website. I love the pictures from the hospital when Grayson was born because it's easy to see how happy you were. They have given me much peace to look at. My heart still hurts for you and your family and the trails you have been given. You are an inspiration to many and your faith is a blessing to us all.

All My Love, Glenda Baker

Stephanie said...

You are an inspiration and I am humbled by your strength! When you don't feel strong remember that you are!!

Kathy Fowler said...

Dear Kristi and Taylor, I know you haven't known me long, but you have been in my prayers since I learned of Kinsey and Grayson. I prayed that you would be able to give birth to a living child and be able to spend as much time as possible with your little guy. I wanted to share with you that many years ago I had profound losses as well and thought for a time I was living in some other existance. I know that sometimes God does give you more than you can bear...I have the perspective of time now and know that when I couldn't shoulder the burden, my brothers and sisters in Christ were there to help me. I had to learn, in fact, to lean on God for my strength, to share the yoke with him to lighten my load. When I was too overcome with grief and exhaustion and couldn't even pray for myself, there were people lifting me up in prayer.You are not alone, We are there for you in prayer as well as in person. Grief has its own time, its own agenda. The advice to just breathe...is perfect. One day at a time, one moment at a time, sometimes even one breath at a time. Your children will always be with you, even when joy returns to you. Know that I am praying for you and wishing that such sorrow was not part of your life.

Shannon said...

I think of you guys all the time and am praying for you. I hurt for you and have shed lots of tears for you. Know that I am lifting you up in prayer.

M and M said...

I do not know either one of you, but as I sit here and read your blog tears run down my face. I cannot imagine what you two are going through, but I do know that the Lord will give you strength to make it day to day. Your family will be in my prayers.

Molly said...

I am so very sorry for both of your losses. This is he first time I've ever been to your blog so I clicked back through everything. No one should have to go through what you went though as parents. Praying for you.

Danielle Banks said...

I stumbled upon your blog last week and have been praying endlessly for your family ever since. I don't know either of you, but my heart has been breaking for you. I hadn't checked your blog in a few days and when I checked it last night and saw that your sweet Grayson had gone to be with the Lord I couldn't help but cry! My husband came in and I shared your story with him and he too got emotional. I cannot even imagine the pain that you must be feeling now and in the past year. All I know to say is that you guys will defintiely continue to be in my prayers!
God Bless!
Danielle & Tony Banks
Cove City, NC